Throughout time over 270 different civilizations around the world tell the story of “a world flood and of a family in a boat full of animals that was saved to replenish the Earth.” The Bible references this unrighteous time as the “days of Noah.” YAHWEH postponed the flood for 120 years, and HE ordered Noah and his righteous family to build the Ark. It was a large wooden structure 450' long x 75' wide x 45' tall with three interior levels, and we all know the story (Gen.ch.6-8). The Bible says that of Noah’s three sons, Shem had a white wife, Ham had a black wife, Japheth had an oriental wife.
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Without peer reviewed documentation I'm calling bullshit on your 270 civilizations claim.
For the record your babble makes no mention of what color Noah, his sons or their wives were. Stop making shit up, Jesus hates that.
The Bible says that of Noah’s three sons, Shem had a white wife, Ham had a black wife, Japheth had an oriental wife. "
Wrong, even if taking the Bible literally. Shem's descendents were semitic, Japheth's were European and Ham's were African. The authors of the Noah story had no knowledge of east Asians, otherwise Noah would have had another son.
the fact that a ton of civilizations have a flood story isn't terribly surprising considering how important annual flooding/rainy seasons are to basically any agrarian society. so yeah, maybe a lot of them talked about water.
BUT i have to call bullshit on the 'world flood and family in a boat with animals who were saved part.' give me one good example homeworship101.
It's true that the story of the Flood is not exclusive to the Jewish civilisation but the detail of the arch full of animals and the three sons of the main character is exclusive to the Bible. Besides, the three sons of Noah don't include neither black people, probably, nor Oriental. Ham was cursed but it was meant to explain the enemity with the indigenous Caananite people, who were not black. And Haphet was meant to be European. You see, the Bible tells this story from the point of view and the knowledge of the people who wrote it, not the knowledge we have now.
"HE ordered Noah and his righteous family to build the Ark."
That would be righteously drunken, publically naked Noah?
"Throughout time over 270 different civilizations around the world tell the story of “a world flood and of a family in a boat full of animals that was saved to replenish the Earth.”"
268 of them occur fairly recently in time and are referring to the bible.
1 of them is the civilisation that wrote the bible story.
And 1 of them is the civilisation that wrote the earlier story that the above civilisation pinched when writing the bible.
"Shem had a white wife, Ham had a black wife, Japheth had an oriental wife. "
Prove it.
More likely is that, if you HAVE a wife, she has got to be an idiot.
150m*25m*15m=56250000 dm3
1084860 kilograms of food for 7 pairs of elephants for 1 year and 13 days. That would mean you'd need 2% of the ark's space (if the ark was a square box and the measurements are on the inside with absolutely nothing to reduce it like separate floors and walls) to keep 1 species of (clean) animal and the food it needs.
[Edited for stupid math error. No idea where it came from]
The Bible says that of Noah’s three sons, Shem had a white wife, Ham had a black wife, Japheth had an oriental wife.
No it does not. Learn to read at least.
They had mail order women back then?
And no idiot, 270 different civilisations (REAAAAAAALLY?) didn't have a story about a boat load of animals, especially 2 of every kind and 7 of every sacrificial or 'edible' one - they had a story aqbout it raining a bit and localised issues with run off.
"And then you really need to pray that the elephants aren't clean animals because then you'd need to take 7 on board."
Being an avid fan of mythology, I have no doubt that there are well over 270 flood myths, but none outside the Middle East bear much likeness to Genesis, as expected.
Other common themes in mythologies worldwide include either the marriage and sex of a God and Goddess creating the universe, or an act of masturbation (self-fellatio, in the case of Ra) by a God creating the lower Gods and the rest of the universe out of semen. Another common theme is multiple attempts at creating humans using various materials, and failed attempts becoming animals. Does that mean these events really happened?
Silly flatworm, every fundie knows that STDs are caused by sinful sex.
Seriously, I had a fundie tell me once that AIDS was spontaneously generated when two men had sex.
'And thus, while Shem, Ham, and Japheth joined their father on the Ark, Noah's other two sons Eduardo (who had an Aztec wife) and Hiamovi (who had a Native American wife) decreed 'fuck that shit', and built their own ark, which they used to ride the waves of the flood to America, because they hated everyone else in their family.'
See, I can make up 'facts' about Noah's sons too. Doesn't mean it's in the Bible. Actually do some research before saying things are true. All you're doing is making Christians look stupid.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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