WE have a sense of humor, so I like to think that God has a sense of humor (else where would we have gotten it from?)
So here's the setup. I'm driving in my car (as I do a lot these days) when the Rapture happens. But God "delays" the transformation from corruptable to incorruptable for just a split-second (just for my benefit) and the result is that I whack my head on the windscreen just as I'm about to pass through it, on the way to glory. He has a belly-laugh, and claps me on the back when I get home, in that big-brotherly way....Ha Ha....Very....funny.
40 comments
Why not go all the way, like through the the windshield, flying directly into a concrete divider? Oh man, your cracked skull and mangled spine will sure cause Yahweh to split his sides! (Assuming that all the rapturing leads to hilarious chains of vehicular accidents)
Actually, I think God would get more laughs by throwing you out the windshield and leaving you crippled for decades.
I think that if God has a sense of humour, he most likely reads FSTDT; He must have quite a chuckle when reading these quotes of people who try to act all godly.
>>WE have a sense of humor, so I like to think that God has a sense of humor (else where would we have gotten it from?)<<
So does that mean God has the capacity for malice, hatred, greed, vengence, selfishness, lust, lieing, and evil? I mean where else would we have gotten it from.
(And don't pull any of that Satan bullshit, according to your own dogma God created Satan)
Reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode where two guys are driving a truck on their way to a bachelor party. In the back, under a tarp, are a few dozen blow-up dolls inflated with helium. The tarp comes loose and the dolls begin floating away. A few blocks away a woman is driving her car and sees the dolls floating heavenward, backlit by the sun. She is convinced it's the Rapture and in her excitment, screaming 'Hallelujah!' she crashes her car and dies.
I bet god had a belly laugh over that episode!
So if our sense of humor proves that god has one too (because where else would we have gotten them from?), doesn't it follow that god also has lust, wrath, gluttony, pride, envy, sloth and avarice, since we have all those things (and where else would we have gotten them from?)?
"Reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode where two guys are driving a truck on their way to a bachelor party. In the back, under a tarp, are a few dozen blow-up dolls inflated with helium. The tarp comes loose and the dolls begin floating away. A few blocks away a woman is driving her car and sees the dolls floating heavenward, backlit by the sun. She is convinced it's the Rapture and in her excitment, screaming 'Hallelujah!' she crashes her car and dies.
I bet god had a belly laugh over that episode!"
That was in an episode of six feet under? They stole that from Religion In the News. But it got repeated as fact by Wingnut daily.
http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm
Actually, I got a good belly-laugh out of some of these comments. There are just a couple of points I feel I need to address:
1) There is this thing called a "joke," that you should become acquainted with. A joke is a display of cleverness intended to engender yux. Some people, however, require advance notice if they're to recognize a joke when they see one. In polite society it's customary when in the presence of such people to signal the onset of a joke by means of some subtle stratagem, such as a siren, large firecracker, or gong. Clearly your so-called friends could stand a lesson in thoughtfulness. -Cecil, from the "Straight Dope"
2) God DOES read FSTDT. I am not God.
3) "This view of God is not consistent with the Old Testament" - Read Psalm 2.
4) I do wear my seatbelt. It won't make a bit of difference on the Day of the Rapture. Especially if I'm driving at the time. :)
And finally, 5) God does not have a capacity for Hatred, Malice, etc. Those things are the absence of God, just as cold is the absence of heat, and dark is the absence of light.
Think of all those things in life that you deemed "Beautiful" or "Attractive" like a phenominal sunset, or a gourmet dinner. Now take all those things of beauty, and everything that makes life worth living , and distill them down to one single essence. That is a small glimpse of God.
The horror of Hell will not be the fire or the torment, although those things are true in themselves. It will be the one final, lasting vision of Him, and the knowledge that you made the choice to reject Him, in all His majesty.
mswilso@comcast.net
>> Those things are the absence of God, just as cold is the absence of heat, and dark is the absence of light.<<
And yet God is supposed to be omnipotent. You'd think he'd be able to spread some of himself into the more decrepid parts of the world.
"Those things are the absence of God, just as cold is the absence of heat, and dark is the absence of light."
Isn't God supposed to be omnipresent?
Ha.......ha........ha. Ha? Was that supposed to be funny? Well, i'm not laughing. Remember this sweet daydream of yours, when you're gasping for the last breaths in some terminal ward. Sorry to disappoint you.
mswilso really hits the nail on the head here - the whole of religious history, and all the quackery that has gone with it, is all leading up to exact moment of the rapture when his personal god will do tricks for him. Why?? because mswilso is so special
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.