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Chicks with six pack abs: A problem that is, thankfully, for now, small enough to tuck away for use as a hypothetical. But maybe not for long. It seems our world is careening toward an androgynous, sexually unimorphic hell, populated with femininity-crushing fatties or muscular femmes carving their bodies up to high-T specs.

Reader mac speaks for the vast majority of men,

i agree about the abs. don’t like a big beer gut on a girl of course but i’ve never been into visible abs on a woman either. i don’t understand why young guys these days all want their women to be ripped like men.

They don’t. They just say that for PR.

not feminine at all and ugh is right.

Rippling six packs on women are almost as nauseating as distended rolls of pork fat. Both obscure in their own ways the nascent feminine form struggling to emerge and soak up the sun of horny male attention. A perfect female stomach is flat, soft, and subtly terraformed as if to guide the adventurer to the furrow below it.

So while obesity is the epidemic destroying the natural beauty of America’s women, there is an opposite trend, much smaller but almost as destructive, toward hardened, fibrous, X-Fit borgs anchored atop a fulcrum of narrowed boyhips, tromping city streets in flats and trainers, shoulder checking personal space invaders, all the while denying the truth of their essential female nature.

The answer to obesity isn’t the masculinization of the female form.

Softness and slenderness, these are the gravitational forces of purest femininity.

Serena Williams would weep, but she lost touch with that part of her femaleness a long time ago.

Hope Solo wouldn’t weep; she’d just crush your nads in her clenched fist like they were walnuts.

29 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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