Last Wensday I was getting ready to leave my house and go to youth when I got a text message. All it said was to make sure to bring my bible. The number or a name didn't show up but I asumed it was my youth minister, since he complains when we don't bring our bibles. Neways, I got to church and asked if he had text ne1 else and he hadn't. When he came in I asked him why he only text me..and he said he didn't.
I'm sure there is a reasonable explaination for this text, but Idc. I like to joke and say it was God reminding me via text messaging. I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1.
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"I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1."
So an almighty being's only way of reaching people is text message?
No wonder the bible makes so little sense, they couldn't receive his text messages!
I am now going to make it my mission in life to text "Make sure to bring your Bible" to random people, and ponder upon how much confusion will ensue.
Also: "I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1."
WTF!
Marsten: The question is, does God use txt-spk?
Clearly. The original Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek texts were reverse translations of the KJV, which in turn was a reverse translation of the txt talk version! :O
"I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1?"
HELLO, he's GOD. I think he could come up with some way to contact someone besides texting them. How did he contact people before cell phones were invented, that is, if he does exist?
"I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1."
TXTMSG spelling aside, this is just... Fuck, this is stupid. Dreams, visions, and hallucinogenic mushrooms were good enough for Enoch and ... um... Elijah, was it, who saw the blazing "chariot" or something? Anyway, gods don't need to TXTMSG people.
EDIT: Er... TXT-TLK, I guess it would be. How should I know, even if I *do* text someone, I spell out my damn words!
I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1.
Burning bushes?
Do these people not even know their own mythology... shees.
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Wow, I thought it was "always bring your towel" not "bible"
In other news...
What the fscking fsck?
Immortal, omniscient deities don't usually have to resort 2 tlkin liek thiz 2 get ur attentionz...
I like to joke and say it was God reminding me via text messaging. I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1.
I hope the second part was a joke, too.
And I just realized that 'ne1' isn't a weird corruption of 'me' from the computer's side, but 'leetspeek'/SMS language for 'anyone'. Wow.
BrittanyB: Fundie 1337
ur a tard
Now Brittany, those rates on transdimensional texts can be killer. You'd better have a good plan.
Personally, I put God in my Fav Five so I can share unlimited texts and minutes with him, but that's just me.
This quote really isn't all that fundie-ish. He did say he was joking about god texting people. I mean really, it weakens the meaning of fundie to equate it with theism in general (I'd rate this as a 2, at most).
"I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1."
You know, the rest is bullshit, but to be honest, I can't really argue with this. If God exists, I think text messaging or IM would be a perfectly logical way to contact followers.
"Can you hear me now?.... Good!
(For non-Americans, this is from an American Verizon Wireless commercial) Of course having to explain it makes the whole thing worthless.... I'm going to bed.
Well, it's nice to see a fundy who doesn't think technology is of the devil, no matter how crazy they are.
However, we all know the Almighty doesn't text because His fingers are too big.
Perhaps the big guy was just trying to show you how to spell a complete word.
"I asked him why he only text me..and he said he didn't."
I hope he tosses in some messages regarding capitalization and punctuation eventually as well.
I wonder does he have a computer too? And who is his ISP?
What a moron you are. God with a text phone? If so, why didn't he use one instead of having Moses climb the mountain repeatedly. He could have texted the 10 commandments.
And by the way, smartie, don't use text conventions when writing properly. [NE1 indeed!]
I'm sure there is a reasonable explaination for this text, but Idc.
Fundie in a nutshell.
But that aside this is a Cutest Fundie Award candidate if ever I saw one (and if we still had a Cutest Fundie Award).
"I'm sure God has to have texting, how else is he going to get a hold of ne1."
Which is a great argument against God, really. How hard would a personalized e-mail or two be for someone who made the universe, and who thinks it's direly important we acknowledge his almighty existence?
@ JohntheChristain
No one can ever be certain that it's a joke. My neighbor told me, with a straight face, that he got an IM from God. Regardless of how many times I questioned it, he said it was absolutely true.
We aren't making fun of Christians...Just ones that are either riddled with mental problems or just generally lie to make the faith seem like more than a fear based cult.
I very much hope that English is not your first or second language, because you seriously suck at it.
How the hell do you manage to read the Bible, when you can't even spell out easy words like anyone or anyway?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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