Vijay Prozak #crackpot anus.com

Things that are burned:

"Think for yourself." What a nice sentiment... and that is all. The average Homer Simpson thought this made a greater justification for being selfish, and took the exhortations of every speed metal band from the 1980s to heart. Now he does the same things but has a handy retort to critics.

"Think of others." It's a great idea if you like tokens. In our inner hearts, most of us are sick to death of others. They crowd us, most of them are stupid, and the ones that aren't are so manic with a desire to escape that they'll push us under to get a few inches above. But, if once a month we think of others by working at a soup kitchen, we feel vindicated in continuing our slothful, selfish, slovenly behavior the other 29 days.

"Think of the children." The only people who really take this to heart are the pedophiles. It's a great way to force other people to be sympathetic to whatever you're doing. We need nuclear weapons -- think of the children! Like pointing out someone's fly is open, it only functions to take wind from their sails, not goad them to something productive.

What never gets burned are the things you can't sum up in a catchphrase. Like thinking of what is realistic and pragmatic. Thinking of what will be true in all situations. These things don't burn because they aren't tangible and yet open-ended at the same time. They require interpretation, and that interpretation is not universal, so they're garbage as memes. But as guides to life, in a time when everyone else is drowning in the burned-out? They're superior.

5 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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