GOD WILL BRING DOWN HIS FLAMMING SWORD OF VENGENCE ONTO THIS NATION FOR HER SIN OF BABY KILLING. TECHNICALLY MASTABATORY ACTIVITIES QUALIFY AS BABY MURDER ALSO BECAUSE IT SNUFFS OUT POTENTIAL FOR HUMAN LIFE TO CARRY ON SO YOU FILTHY DREAMERS WHO BRAKE SEED TO IMAGES OF BARE NAKED HARLOTS WILL NOT ESCAPE THE WRATH TO COME!!!! REPENT NOW!!! LIFE BEGINS WITH THE SEED.
72 comments
If life begins at sperm, God did a shitty job of protecting life. If sperm isn't released, it just dies anyway. And, in cases where a girl gets pregnant, only one sperm out of the millions released gets to the egg.
God's responsible for the loss of billions of lives every day.
Archie, your computer period is over, go back to your room, put on your white gown and wait for the nurse to bring your medication.
ANd every day, across the world, millions of women have their periods, destroying yet more potential humans - billions a year. And this is done by your god's design so he must be either the biggest mass murderer of all time - already proved anyway, or he made a very large cockup (proving he's not infallible, after all), or he doesn't exist and you're talking shit!
This is absolutely positively stupid.
Sperm has an average life span of 90 days (I forget if this is only as adults or the entire developmental life span). And, any activities like biking, sitting too long, driving too long etc. will kill millions of sperm.
Archie, your life began with your mother's cousin's seed.
EDIT: On second thought, I'm calling Poe. Archie MacGillicutty ?
Too fake to be real.
well now I've heard everything. Masturbation is baby killing! PHEER GODS WRATH! RAWR!!!
...Either you're a troll or the world's biggest hypocrite.
OTOH, so, by this guy's logic then the birth control pill should be OK since it prevents ovulation in the first place....
What is it with fiery swords? I mean, cutting someone open with a sharpened piece of steel isn't going to get much worse because of a little fire.
Besides, your god is archaic. We have guns now. He's still incapable of defeating iron chariots.
Oooh, big scary capital letters.
Please stop, I'll do whatever you say.
What was it you said, anyway?
If that were true then God designed men with a baby killing mechanism. Don't forget, you pee it out if you don't do anything else.
Guess this idiot's in hell right alongside the rest of us.
All throughout high school, my friends and I were quite fond of coming up with strange terminology that described masturbation. However, juvenile as we were, we never thought of "braking seed to images of bare naked harlots" . I guess we just weren't as creative as I thought.
To those mobidly interested [for whatever reason] our favourite term for masturbation was: "the task at hand" . Absolutely classic!
So if gametes are babies... does this mean that every time a woman menstruates, she's killing a baby? How the heck are you supposed to stop that, Archie?
Then again, I suspect any fundie this crazy wouldn't have a clue about female anatomy, because ITZ FORBIDDENS or something.
I'm sorry, Archie. The correct answer was "What is haploid?". The sperm and egg are haploid, the zygote is diploid, so you don't get an embryo until you get a zygote. And how much did you wager? Oh, the whole thing. I'm so sorry, that leaves you with zero dollars. Johnny, tell us what kind of consolation prize we're sending Archie home with today?
Somehow, I got this image in my head of him typing that rant, furiously pecking at the keys, then bursting a blood vessel in his head and the subsequent spatter of blood all over his monitor.
If every sperm is a life, and one man and at least 40 million sperm per ejaculation, and there's approximately 3 billion men alive per day. Lets say that each one of these men ejaculate once per week, and they all live to approximately 30 years of age. (I'm really coming in with low numbers here, 40 million is the borderline for low sperm count).
The afterlife is going to be one crowded place.
Further shouting from the mob:
IF A YOUNG MAN CAN’T CONTROL HIS URGES THEN HE NEEDS TO SMASH HIS UNIT WITH A HAMMER UNTIL LUST FLEES.
Um, I don't think he'll be doin' much of anything with a flat unit.
...
So, you fixate on visions of God bring down his "FLAMMING(?) SWORD OF VENGEANCE" down upon naked harlots. Sheesh...
Well, people, there's Christian morality for you.
TECHNICALLY MASTABATORY ACTIVITIES QUALIFY AS BABY MURDER
Little Johnny was rubbing one out in the church basement late one Sunday morning when the preacher walked in and caught him. "Oh! For shame, Little Johnny! Don't you know millions of innocent babies are dying every time you do that?"
The following week, after Sunday school, Preacher went to check the basement and to his surprise, there was Little Johnny walking slowly, holding a wad of Kleenex and humming a dirge. "Little Johnny, what in hell are you up to now?", asked the preacher.
Although it's not common practice it's today possible to convert non-sexual cells into sex ones. Imagine all the unborn babies we don't allow access that way, too. But sarcasm aside, being ashamed of natural bodily urges is also known to be unhealthy. If God really wanted you to avoid ejaculation and had any power, he'd make sure to let us know, he could clearly and reliably ensure that we don't, or immediately get punished hard enough the first time it occurs. I suggest getting a bit of non-religiously flawed basic sex education.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
