Iron Maiden & AC/DC >>>>> any & all the pretentious retards they think are 'Metal'. One word, ANUS: Venom. [/NWOBHM]
They were the originals: the pioneers of what would devolve into the pretentious not-Metal you felch each other to, ANUS.
And what's wrong with the status quo, anyway?! [/Doug Piranha-levels of sarcasm]
Besides, I put it to ANUS, that they're not what the say they are. For they are in fact, deNileists: If they're not living in a river in Egypt, then they're not Nile-ists. [/hyper-smartarse]
If they're not currently situated there, then they're not Absurdist enough, ergo they're not what they say they are, and ultimately they're trolling themselves: for Absurdism means not taking yourselves seriously (I refer you to the publishers/editors of "The Chap" magazine); especially if they're not poking fun at Hitler, right-wing thinking as a whole, and the frankly retarded morons who excrete the aural diarrhoea that ANUS themselves consider 'Metal'*.
Yes & Rush are infinitely more metal than the shitemeisters you worship, ANUS.
*- (From Wiki link):
'In his Black Flag tour diary, singer Henry Rollins wrote about a 1986 performance when Black Flag opened for Venom. He opines that Venom were hilarious, with mediocre playing and a stage performance focused on appearances rather than music; Rollins asserted that the musicians used portable fans to keep their hair flowing while on stage. Rollins wrote, "It was like seeing Spinal Tap ... I expected them to go into 'Sex Farm' at any second." Rollins writes that he and some tourmates drew magic marker pentagrams on their hands to flash at Venom and offer "Hail Satan" salutes.'
So as you can see, ANUS: as Country & Western begins & ends with Johnny Cash, what you consider 'Metal' started & finished with Venom. Ergo, any & all others who proceeded them are Pretentious, certainly self-caricatures & self-parodies, if the originals sailed very close to that line themselves.
At least Dragonforce admit they're tongue-in-cheek, and even embrace the appellation of 'Nintendo Metal' given to their style of music by fans, especially as they're so loved by 4chan. Comes from the very innate British sense of self-deprecation. The basis of Absurdism.
The very Absurdist Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band are more metal than the dreck you worship, ANUS. [/Viv Stanshall]