(from the "Are they ready for this" thread - a fantasy about Barack Obama addressing the world after Michelle Obama attempts suicide because her daughters disappear in the rapture):

BREAKING NEWS ALERT: "Ladies and Gentleman...citizens of the USA and THE WORLD....I stand before you a broken man.....normal protocol in more certain times would allow for myself to keep all personal issues relating to the welfare of my young precious daughters in the utmost of secrecy...But I and my wife ...like all of you have suffered loss at this most destressful time. Both our daughters like hundreds of thousands of you and your children and family members are MISSING and that revelation was more than my wife could bear...and as it has been reported in the last 12 hours my wife made a vain attempt to end her life'' "thankfully that attempt failed and she is with her physician and her mother recovering" "Our spiritual mentor Reverend Wright is by her side as well"

"And as such I have taken the liberty to speak with him privately leading upto this address ...I also have spoken with several other spiritual advisors and we have conferred that due to the reckless attempts of many to suggest that somehow this was an event relegated to a select group of people in this multi cultural world is both narrow minded and prejudicial and at a time such as this I will neither tolerate nor standby as in the position and authority I have I find it paramount to take this opportunity to silence all voices of hate and bigotry" "So effective immediately during this time of declared Martial Law I am instituting a moratorium of any mention of what is being called The Rapture" "it will be equal to hate speech and the prosecution of such crimes will be severe and swift"