we love jesus,1-2-3,we love jesus sing with me! Praise the lord! For christ is gorgeous and i would love to kiss him.
44 comments
Heh, you should read some of the people who have signed it. It's been signed by Batman, Darth Vader, Mickey Mouse, and by Jesus himself about a dozen times.
@NotMe
Oh no, a online petition without any way to know who the people who signed it are!
"we love jesus,1-2-3,we love jesus sing with me! Praise the lord! For christ is gorgeous and i would love to kiss him."
Mary, no! That's NOT what a crucifix is for! The Exorcist ?
In any event, it sounds like maryinnewyork hasn't gotten laid in a very long time, and could really do with some good Christian clitoral stimulation.
If anything, this should get the "Who Would Jesus Do" award. That being said, I'm not sure if this is even serious. Considering the rest of the people on the petition, there should be doubt in the true fundiness.
The response from INS:
"We regret to inform you that your petition must be rejected. There is no precedent for allowing zombies the status of citizens, as dead people tend to remain dead, except for corrupt and corruptible Republican corpses who are seen to vote occasionally.
"You may consider bringing your dead friend across our borders as an archaeological exhibit. Wrap him up real pretty and put him in a fancy coffin like that Egyptian dude, and we can take money from people who want to look at him.
"Please be reminded that your dead friend, having never been a citizen or registered voter, may not participate as a candidate in any political race.
"Thank you for your petition; better luck next time.
"Yours truly,
Seamus Abdul Hashimoto, INS"
Me, I signed the petition as 'The Madgod Sheogorath, New Sheoth, Shiver Isles.'
After all, you'd have to be crazy to write such a petition.
Rather dissonant ending... not the weirdest I can come up with. We all get that "know" is an unusual euphemism for sex, and if God is all-knowing, then maybe Jesus would be up for it. And that petition? Great idea. Signing.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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