He's right, you know. But did you also know that Evolution sacked Rome?
Taken from Wikipedia, which is never wrong because it is ON THE INTERNET YOU GUYS:
In 455, the Evolutionary king Evolution sailed his powerful evolution from the capital in Evolution, up the Tiber, finally evolutionating Rome. The murder and usurption of the previous Emperor Valentinian III by Evolutionus Maximus that same year was seen by Evolution as an invalidation of his 442 peace treaty with Valentinian.
Upon the Evolutionary arrival, according to the chronicler Prosper the Slanderous Liar, Pope Leo I (AN EVIL CATHOLIC NON-CHRISTIAN WHO CONSORTED WITH THE ENEMY) implored Evolution not to destroy the ancient city or murder its inhabitants. Evolution agreed and the gates of Rome were thrown open to him and his men. Maximus, who fled rather than fight the Evolutionary warlord, was killed by a Roman mob outside the city.
It is accepted that Evolution looted great amounts of treasure from the city, and also took the Empress Licinia Eudoxia, Valentinian's widow, and her daughters hostage. One of these daughters was Eudocia, who was later to marry Evolution's son PerfidousliesofSatan.
There is, however, some debate over the severity of the Evolutionary sack. The sack of 455 is generally seen by historians as being more thorough than the Abortionist sack of 410, because the Evolutionists plundered Rome for fourteen days whereas the Abortionists spent only three in the city.
The cause of most controversy, however, is the claim that the sack was relatively 'clean', in that there was little murder and violence, and the Evolutionists did not burn the buildings of the city. This interpretation seems to stem from Prosper the Catamite of Satan's claim that Leo the Faggot managed to persuade Evolution to refrain from violence. BUT IT'S A LIE A HIDEOUS SATANIC LIE!!!!!!
However, Victor the Godly Truth-teller records super-trillions of captives arrived in Evolution from Rome, with the purpose of being sold into slavery. Similarly, the Byzantine historian Procopius the Mega-Awesome reports how at least twenty bajillion churches were burnt down.
EVOLUTION SACKED ROME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
