Do you ever want to look at another human being and just say, “Stop it!” Except, before the words leave your mouth, you realize that what you really want the person to do is to stop being himself? Asking a complete ass to stop annoying you is like asking a bird not to chirp or a fish not to swim. No matter how much you try to wish it away, it’s just what he’s chosen to be.

1) The Male Feminist: Maybe no one has informed you of this, but you are a dude. A man is not supposed to be a neutered, pansy-ass, emasculated weenie who trashes his own sex and spouts off lines Gloria Steinem didn’t even really believe when she first said them. Are guys like this trying to impress chicks? Were they brainwashed in a women’s studies class in college? Are they just uncomfortable with the fact that they have a penis? Whatever the case may be, these losers are so irritating that you get the feeling that even most liberal feminists have to choke back the intrinsic revulsion that they feel for these Nancy Boys.

2) Bronies: Grown-ass men do not watch My Little Pony or worse yet, dress like characters from the show and say things like, “Friendship is magic.” Not only is it weird and effeminate, it’s creepy. It’s hard to tell whether these losers are closet pedophiles or have decided to rave about a cartoon show for little girls as part of some sort of psychic rejection of adulthood and manliness. On behalf of everyone who knows you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, let me say, “Being a Bronie is a desperate psychic cry for help from some deep part of your subconscious. Answer it and go see a psychologist, weirdo!”