(in response to War of the Angels being watched and investigated by the FBI for it's astonishingly high levels of "Smite 'em all and offer their corpses to Jeebus!" mentality)
THE HOLY SPIRIT PROTECTS THIS WEBSITE, SO GO AHEAD. WHO CAN COME AGAINST GOD ALMIGHTY?
FEAR OF MAN PROVES TO BE A SNARE, BUT THOSE WHO TRUST IN THE LORD ARE KEPT SAFE.
37 comments
Get JEEZUS FIREWALL from GODWARES(TM) today and get a whole year of AntiDemon Software for FREE!
Protection against attacks from Atheists, Agnostics, Liberals, Muslims and other similar heretics, who are trying to contaminate the Perfection of Gods Computers.
Daily updates from GODWAREs(TM) homepage on the InterSKYnet makes your computer safe from new scientific research, critical thinking, deviant sexuality (not heterosexual and/or pedofile porn) and modern womens rights movements.
NEW! Equipped with a special filter against "UnGodly"-words and "Sinful"-programs.
One-Time Offer: Order it before the Apocalypse or your computer goes to HELL!
Okay, this isn't a comment on the quote so much as the board itself. The masthead says
"You Have Been Left Behind. They Cometh For You."
You FREAKING MORONS. "-eth" is SINGULAR. If you're going to try to use 400 year old English, at least get it right. Or you could, you know, give it up and stop being so pretentious. We're all laughing at you.
... BUT THOSE WHO TRUST IN THE LORD ARE KEPT SAFE.
Tell that to Franck Kabele, the evangelist preacher who walked into the sea and drowned after proclaiming his faith would allow him to walk on water.
Remember the arch-protestant, Oliver Cromwell's, alleged quote: "Trust in God but keep your powder dry".
"Jesus is my Webmaster"
I'd love to see your network closet! I bet your "firewall" is probably a Bible and a vial of holy water balanced on top of your router.
I love the GOD WILL PROTECT ME philosophy becasue it removes all personal responsibility. If the site was hacked, it's not the Webmaster's fault, there must be some Unfaithfuls (TM) on the forum!
Two hours later, someone hacked the site, turned the background bright pink, and replaced all the images with animated "air-humping smiley face" gifs.
I have seen men eaten by lions, and drown preachers and crusaders who died. All they died, and they thought that Jesus would protect them. God told Jesus that if he jumped from the temple, no angel would save him. What part of the Gospel are they supposed to read?
@Julian
Damn they're asking for a concerted Denial of Service attack.
Done.
image
image
image
image
Of course, it's not a real DOS; it might not be a good idea to DOS someone under investigation by the FBI. It's just a sort of symbolic DOS.
Anyone else feel like DDOSing them?
also, "Jesus is my Webmaster" award seventhed, or eighthed, or somethingthed.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.