I believe I've found a surefire way to secure peace in the region.
Turkey and Saudi Arabia are strategic regional allies of the west and even though we aren't propping up a dictator in Egypt any more, there's a half-decent chance of a regime there that we can deal with...eventually.
The rest of the region...not so much.
So, a big lead wall from the Mediterranean coast of Egypt, the Saudi/Kuwaiti border and Turkey's borders with Iran/Iraq and Syria.
And we glass the rest. Jerusalem is a holy site for your bronze age fucknuttery? Tough Shit, it's a radioactive deadland now. Grow up and get a life.
Who the fuck is going to want to fight over it then?
And don't start whinging about the death toll, your pathetic "picking sides" nonsense has been contributing to that since 1948, my way is just more direct.
33 comments
I've found the way to peace!
MURDER!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
~ Marvel Comics regrets to inform that we are now terminating your employment. Your performance as a dialogue writer for supervillians is unsatisfactory and has been described by veteran writers as trite and overused. We wish you the best of luck in your future efforts and hope you are joking about that vow of eternal vengeance upon those who have wronged you if only because our legal team is overworked.
Edit:
P.S.
We assure you that we shall not 'rue this day' and are forced to remind you that we are entitled to royalty payments for the use of this phrase. Please refer to your employee contract for details.
Just a few questions about your plan“:
- Do you really think a “lead wall” will protect these neighbouring countries from the explosion(s) and the fallout?not in the Middle East will react to such an act? What about the rest of the world?
@passerby:
Did you tell them that they will rue the day they fired you? It’s not a complete super-villain threat without some rueing (sp?).
BREAKING NEWS REEL
EXPLORERS IN THE NEW WORLD FIND NEW SPECIES OF SAVAGE APE
The ape has been named homo sapien by the leaders of the expedition. They claim it shows such behaviours of irrational fears of everything it is unfamiliar with.
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And we glass the rest. Jerusalem is a holy site for your bronze age fucknuttery? Tough Shit, it's a radioactive deadland now. Grow up and get a life.
Someone doesn't like Israel's R&D business.
"Jerusalem is a holy site for your bronze age fucknuttery? Tough Shit, it's a radioactive deadland now. Grow up and get a life."
Really sounds like a poe. I like this guy(as long as he speaks to the 2nd degree).
As you really think those allies will remain allies after we turned much of the desert into glass.
Oh and while you thought about how to stop radiation poisoning and fallout (though it won't be effective) your solution leads to another problem. Ever hear of Lead poisoning? How do you propose to keep that giant lead wall from seeping into the soil and water and contaminating the air?
Wait you didn't think.
I never thought I'd say this, but honestly after so much fucking war over fucking religion and Jerusalem and whose god did what, it is tempting to think how this guy does. Will civilians die? Sure. Aren't civilians dying and killing now ?
Nuclear is of course a bad idea because it contaminates the world no matter your 'lead wall' or whatever. But status quo in Israel and Palestine has enough death, and will lead to more death in the future. It's the same logic that can be used with having abortions in abject poverty - if the child is going to lead a life of utter poverty and desolation and tragedy, perhaps it would be better if that life did not come into being.
Even if this wasn't completely immoral, it's also completely impossible. The world economy would collapse on the spot, if we somehow figured out the logistics for an operation such as this. We would have literally nothing to gain.
Follow through with this and you'll see Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, as well as a myriad of other nations that may not be Islamic, turn against your nation of residence.
@ TimeToTurn
As long as there are human beings, there will be human assholes. The only difference here, is this guy doesn't have any power or authority over others to execute this plan. Not even enough to open a Jim Jones Kool-Aid stand for his non-existent followers.
@ checkmate:
"Slag" has been a verb used in this fashion for at least three generations. The OP might not have English as a first language.
I have an even more "surefire way" to secure peace on Earth; kill every human being, starting with TheContrarian here. Kill all the other animals too, perhaps, and leave the planet with plants, fungi and bacteria.
However, soon enough one or more of them will have evolved into something that can fight, again...
@ #1750453
"Ben Chimpy, leader of the expedition, describing the savage beast's appearance to the press." - I kinda imagine this caption:
"Well, it was about yea high. When we first observed it, it was running around in circles, making strange, unintelligible noises and gesticulating wildly, and it seemed to be frothing at the mouth. We are currently planning a follow-up expedition to try an capture the beast for further study".
Regards & all,
Thomas L. Nielsen
@ breakerslion
@ checkmate:
"Slag" has been a verb used in this fashion for at least three generations. The OP might not have English as a first language.
Ah, I thought he was referring, metaphorically, to the power of nuclear weapons to melt things down (e.g. sand) and turn them into glass.
@checkmate : I have seen "glass" used like that before in some sci fi works. Halo mainly. Incidentally, the faction in Halo that used glassing was the Covenant, a coalition of various races united by a common religion that was known to be bullshit by the leading class but they decided to deceive their believers and commit genocide so they wouldn't have to stop feeling special. Something in common with Mary Contrary here.
"So, a big lead wall from the Mediterranean coast of Egypt, the Saudi/Kuwaiti border and Turkey's borders with Iran/Iraq and Syria.
And we glass the rest. Jerusalem is a holy site for your bronze age fucknuttery? Tough Shit, it's a radioactive deadland now. Grow up and get a life"
I suggest you start with every contractor in the world about your lead and glass builds so they can tell you how fucking stupid you are. Don't worry though, Newt Gingrach expressed his plan to put 35,000 Americans on the moon and the people and press still haven't put an Idiot headline over his picture, shit, they gave him his own show after and he was a presidential candidate when he had that brainfart.
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@Gearhead mk2
I've always thought of the Covenant Super Carrier's glassing beam as one of the most horrifying super weapons in science fiction. In a lot of ways, it's even scarier in concept than the Little Doctor from Ender's Game or the Death Star's beam, because at least with those the whole planet goes immediately and everybody presumably feels a minimum of pain. With the glassing beams, it can take days to fully glass a planet and in the meantime the atmosphere is set on fire and everything from rock to lifeforms melt. It would be like living inside a volcanic crater.
And the time we got to experience a glassing first hand in Halo: Reach, *shudders*, it was the stuff of nightmares.
Oh yeah, 'cause Saudi Arabia is such a great place.
I has to be just about the place I least want to see in the world (perhaps with the exception of North Korea).
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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