There are many who get engaged only to learn of that their fiancé is not the one God has chosen for them. Suppose, after the engagement, they kiss. Then they learn that they are not to be together. What then? They have spoiled themselves for their intended spouse. They have reprogrammed themselves and defrauded their real spouses.
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See, it's comments like this one that make me believe that Bro. Randy is truly doing a great disservice to the young people who happen to post on his message forum. Comments such as, "they have spoiled themselves for their intended spouse" lead teens to believe that if they have held hands, hugged, kissed or had sex with a boyfriend or girlfriend that they are tainted and won't be as good a wife or husband as they should be.
Nothing gurantees a good married sex life like a totally inexperienced partner who is afraid of their own body.
"There are many who get engaged only to learn of that their fiancé is not the one God has chosen for them."Well, then they get disengaged.
"Suppose, after the engagement, they kiss."
Oh, my goodness, noooo...
"Then they learn that they are not to be together. What then?"
I know, I know, Bro. Randy call on me!
They kill themselves because they are tainted filth, and they make True Christians (tm) want to puke. Right?
"They have spoiled themselves for their intended spouse."
If you spoil yourself by kissing, then you're doing it way too hard.
"They have reprogrammed themselves and defrauded their real spouses."
No reprogramming or defrauding is necessary. They simply find a real spouse who isn't a sexually-repressed, Fundie dipshit, that is, someone who doesn't care who you kissed in the past.
You know, Randy, seeing that it's impossible to keep up with the rate of you finding new ways of sinning, I guess I just take my chances, kiss everyone I want to kiss and get it over with, ok? A god that doesn't give people a chance of winning isn't worth worshipping anyway.
Guess I spoiled early. Sorry honey, we could never have a meaningful relationship, I spoiled myself by kissing a girl, and all before I ever started kindergarten. No wonder I smell so bad.
Just for the record, how do they know, all in a sudden, that they´re not for each other?, second, why is ANY person in the world going to be offended because her future spouse has kissed somebody else, specially one who was going to marry?, in which paranoid society are you supposed to be faithful to a husband or wife you don´t have?, and moreover, how are you sure you are going to marry after that AT ALL?. Do you think that God has a special sign to say, hey guy, this is your man/woman or is not?. Prudery and paranoia.
And what happens if you marry someone only to find out that this person is not the one for you? He/she turns out to be a liar or a cheat. What then? Your god should have warned you or steered you in a different direction. But now, instead, you are damaged goods (at least by your standards or those of your god). You would have that person think he/she is the one at fault and is now much less attractive to any future partner. I must say that your entire approach is utterly pathetic and will ultimately do infinitely more harm than good.
Well, if just kissing is going to 'spoil' you, you may as well go the whole way and do anal! (Safely, of course).
Besides, people are not "spoilt" for having considered somebody as a candidate for marriage before. And the very logic fails there. Kiss is just an expression of love and sexual feelings. People shouldn´t be ashamed of having considered to marry somebody else before. The only reason why SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, aka, full penetrative sex was forbidden, is solely for protecting the possible future offsprings from an hypothetic unwanted pregnancy. If a kiss is patently shown to lead to NO PREGNANCY, stop putting sex as a dirty thing only to be shown to your spouse-to-be. That´s neither natural nor healthy and indicates, in a very dramatic manner, that you´ve got a very unrealistic notion of love and marriage. You´re an idealist if you think that you´re going to fall in love only with the person you´re going to marry.
Aside from actually proving nothing except one or both of the parties involved was a lousy kisser (or possibly just forgot to brush), all of Bro. Randy's advice on saving yourself for the one god intended is utterly worthless because there is no way of knowing who that might be except possibly the trial and error method he just denounced.
"They have reprogrammed themselves"? What "programming" should they have had to begin with before this kiss? "Programming" for some idealized future spouse not yet identified? Who the heck determines exactly who that's supposed to be, if not the people checking each other out with the occasional kiss (among other methods)? I have just one guess, and it sickens me to even express it.Irene: Ha! Cracked me up!
Redhunter: Oh, man, I adore "Veteran of the Psychic Wars"! Your version is a little rough on the scansion, but pretty darned good in content and in following the rhyme patterns (even some of the actual words in key places) of the original. Nice work!
~David D.G.
I wonder if Brother Randy is trying to start his own cult.
Awesome song there Red! Blue Oyster Cult is one of my favorite bands, and that's an awesome song.
Oh, come on people! Obviously kissing is going to spoil you? I mean, come ON! Eve got knocked up THREE TIMES just because she happened to KNOW Adam! And Mary was pregnant even before she knew Joseph! If just KNOWING someone can get you nailed and pregnant, think of what kissing can do!
So, what happens if someone gets married, kisses and even *gasp* has sex with their spouse, and then, tragically, their spouse dies? Does that make them unfit to ever be married to anyone else? After all, now they've been "programmed" to their first spouse, which by Bro. Randy's "logic" would mean that they couldn't bond properly with anyone else.
Wait...essentially the two people are totally screwing everything up, no matter what? If they don't kiss, they don't find out that there's someone meant to be their "real spouse" (whatever that means). And if they do kiss, then they can't ever marry their "real spouses". There's no winning here.
I *want* that kiss.
The 'after the engagement' amuses me. You're seriously not going to kiss someone until you get engaged to them, and even then, only maybe?...
You're not, are you. Jesus.
Wait, so now even kissing takes away your virginity?
Bro. Randy, I think you are just a prude.
Besides, I don't even see a reason to "save it for marriage" anyways. This isn't 10,000 BCE anymore.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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