On the topic of swimwear, I used to go to the public pool on a near daily basis as a child, and I always noticed that it was the girls in bikinis who were uncomfortable with themselves, as Mary noted. The girls in the one-pieces were the ones usually having fun in the water, while the boys always stared at the bikini girls and seemed to harass them. I didn’t understand why boys would stare at girls so much at the time, but something in me became determined never to put myself on display to be stared at or harassed in such a manner.

Later on, I became aware of the effects of nearly naked flesh on boys, and I always thought it manipulative and unfair that girls and women would take advantage of men and boys like that, and then complain about it. Additionally, I had an arrogant attitude that no one was going to look at me unless they earned the right to, so I kept myself covered; my “uniform” until my mid-20s was always loosely-fitting jeans and t-shirt. I even swam in such a getup! Yes, it was heavy! Now that I acknowledge my femininity, I wear prettier things such as blouses and skirts, but swimwear stumped me for quite a while. My search was made more difficult by the fact that I am a little bit on the heavier side, and most of the modest options I found just didn’t go up to my size. I thought I would end up having to buy a rash guard and long surf shorts, which is what my husband wears.