Masturbation is sex with yourself and since you are the same sex as yourself, masturbation is homosexuality and forbidden in the Bible. As well as by my own sensibilities.
58 comments
*guffaws*
WHAT sensibilities?
As well as by my own sensibilities.
Aw, boo...my jerking off hurts your widdle feelings?
WOW! I was cumming out long before I knew I was coming out.
"Masturbation is sex with yourself and since you are the same sex as yourself, masturbation is homosexuality and forbidden in the Bible."
To my knowledge you will not find masturbation mentioned anywhere in your Babble. The closest you'll get is the story of Onan who had some qualms about impregnating his dead brother's wife (imagine that) and so "spilled his seed" on the ground instead which, apparently, pissed god off.
"As well as by my own sensibilities."
You really don't know what you're missing.
So I've been a lesbian this whole time? I guess I might as well come out to my family. /end sarcasm
You're such a doofus, pbuh.
If Grand Pbuh ever finds out that "Pbuh" is an abbreviation of "praise be upon him," which is what Muslims constantly say of Mohammed, his brain will do things heretofore undocumented by all but Issac Asimov.
As one poster pointed out, masturbation can't be wrong, since it's having sex with someone you love - unless you are a fundie, in which case it's having sex with someone you hate - and where's the fun in that?
I loled.
Grand Pbuh logic:
Having a shower is having a shower with yourself and since you are the same sex as yourself, having a shower is homosexuality and forbidden in the Bible.
EDIT: Don't get me started about going to the toilet!!!
So - if you have sex with yourself, what happens if you get yourself pregnant? Do you give birth to a clone?
Supposing you give yourself an STD....
...And you just gave away your bigotry. Well done.
@ Chris: Yup. You also sometimes see SAW, the abbreviated form of "Peace be upon him" in Arabic...
Can I masturbate? After all, I am a different gender to myself.
EDIT: What 'sensibilities' are these you speak of?
Damn!
Double damn.
I piss off the bible and the Grand Peanut Butter Sandwich, too.
And I continue to do so, hang me/dang me.
So when you are starting to go through puberty as an adolescent, and you get erections without being sexually aroused, you must be getting aroused by yourself, am I right? So you must be homosexual!
Actually, you got it wrong. It's the STIMULATION of the sexual organs, not sex with yourself, or a looklike of you. To get aroused you think, guess who?, a person of the opposite sex. Homosexuality has to do with attraction, actually.
Masturbation is sex with yourself and since you are the same sex as yourself, masturbation is homosexuality and forbidden in the Bible. As well as by my own sensibilities.
Since (according to your Bible) Eve was made of a man's rib there must be at least some "man" in women as well. So you know what, just to be on the safe side and making ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY sure that you don't ever, EVER catch "the gheys", I'd say you don't ever have sex with anything. at. all.
PS: Did anyone ever tell you that the word "sensibilities" is derived from the word "Sense"?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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