When feeling attacked to verbally declare that you belong to Jesus and His Blood covers you! Ask that thing to leave in the name of Jesus! Say with authority that you are no longer a slave to sin or the Devil. Pray that all silver cords be severed and that His angels will uphold you.
44 comments
Jesus be with the Bloods? Man, sheeit, I thought the dude with the Crips, no wonder I gots them demons around me.
Silver cords? Nah, that some wack bling. You a Daughter of the King - say "Hi" to Elvis for me next time you see him.
Silver cords?? What are you doing in the astral plane to begin with? You know that interplanar travel is forbidden for mortals! Even those with royal blood who belong to an elite, like yourself, are not permitted there!
Hail Mithras! Bring on the taurobolium! Let the hot bull's blood rain down upon you! Feel its salvific power!
Hail Attis! See the miracle of his sacrifice and rebirth! The Dying God will give you eternal life!
Praise Ahura Mazda! His angels of light will watch over all the faithful!
Praise Isis! Let all her daughters gather as sisters, united by her great mysteries!
... Oh, wait. You had no idea where you got all that weirdly pious babble, did you?
Blood, slave, daughters...
Sounds like a bad fanfic to me.
"Pray that all silver cords be severed"
What? Are you mad? That would leave your awareness stranded in the Astral Plane while your body dies! You'll never get to Celestia that way!
Friends don't let friends be cast away on the Astral Plane!
ETA: Crud, Illuminatalie beat me to it. ::pouts::
"...Say with authority that you are no longer a slave to sin or the Devil. ..."
Or, you could just say that you are now a slave to delusion.
"When feeling attacked to verbally declare that you belong to Jesus and His Blood covers you!" image
Lucilius:
"... Oh, wait. You had no idea where you got all that weirdly pious babble, did you?"
That should read, "... Oh, wait. You had no idea where your handlers got all that weirdly pious babble, did you?"
Other than that, great job. Where did you get all those references?
@breakerslion: Oh, around. I've spent a couple of decades reading up on comparative religion. Good stuff on Mithras/Mitra worship in any bio of Julian the Apostate, but most of it goes back to Ammianus Marcellinus. Any good history of Mideast religions has stuff on Attis/Tammuz/Dumuzi, going all the way back to Sumeria. Zoroastrian sources are sketchy; the best analysis is probably by Mary Boyce, but for a fascinating attempt to tie it closely to the origins of Christianity, check Paul William Roberts' "In Search of the Birth of Jesus: The Real Journey of the Magi." As for Isis-worship, I'm thinking of the Roman-era mystery cult rather than native Egyptian practice. See Marvin Meyer's "The Ancient Mysteries."
I never was satisfied with the glosses and rationalizations I got in Sunday School.
Daughter of a king and covered in blood, eh?
Thanks for the nice illustration of both the delusions of grandeur and love of violent images that seem to plague so many believers. Now get to a shrink before you hurt yourself or someone else.
"I am a Daughter of the King amd..."
Oh great... ANOTHER princess. I was sure that AMD had just a CEO and not a king. Well, shows what I know.
“When feeling attacked”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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