I remember that I was 17 years of age. I was still in high school. My enjoyment after school was seeking the LORD and reading the bible. I remember one day that I would watch Benny Hinn. Every day after school I would watch him. When my family came home from work, they did not like this, so they would change the channel on me almost all the time. So I asked the LORD to make every channel TBN, which is the best Christian network out there.
The next day, my Mother turned on the TV to check the weather. To her amazement every single channel was TBN and had Benny Hinn preaching the Gospel.She tried to change it, but it didn't work. She called the cable company up and made a complaint. When the technician arrived, he could not fix the cable box and said that he has never seen anything like this before. There was no explanation of why the cable receiver was not working. Through this miracle, it testified to the reality of God, as he has the power to invade this physical world and is not restrained by what we believe, but moves upon our faith in him.
137 comments
Are you really going to try and say that you are so very special that God cares more about what you watch on TV then he does about the children praying every night that their Daddy stop molesting them or that they get to eat tomorrow? Or how about that mother begging with the most heartfelt prayers one could imagine for her child to survive the easily curable illness she can't afford to get him medicine for. No, those things are all dust in comparison to how you desire to spend your free time.
You are ether a lying asshole or your God a malevolent prick that cares more about trivial shit then the suffering of children.
right.
God can't stop wars of torture or famines..
he can't stop the supposed "anti-Christ" from getting elected.
but he can fiddle with your TV so some second rate huckster shows up.
God of small things indeed.
I like the part about god 'invading' the physical world. It's like he's an alien. But as far as TBN being the best christian TV station, that's laughable at best. Even when I was a fundy pentecostal, I hated TBN. It's awful. It's nothing but shit. As far as the 'every channel being TBN', you probably made that up.
I read Benny Hill too, and I just loved the thought of him preaching the gospel. I am certain it would be more fun that way.
Other than that it seems like Christians are still worshiping the ever diminishing God.
A few thousand years ago he could create literally billions of billions of stars and all life. Then he could flood a tiny speck of a planet to unsuccessfully try to fix a problem. Some time later he was relegated to sending a representative who could perform party tricks with wine, bread and fishes, and was extra buoyant.
Today, apparently, he can do nothing better than break the cable box in some kid's home.
I talked to jesus about it and he said:
"Oh Holy Crap!
I'm so sorry! Me and the boys had been having a lazy afternoon and we had been smoking copious amounts of Purple Cross... Man.... That shit is the bomb!
We had been out for some munchies when we passed your house and judging from all that religious nick-nack all over your apartment, we figured that smoking some of the Lords herbs was not high on the agenda and my man, Lucifer DaDebil got the idea of showing that same stupid Hinn on all channels just to piss people off..
Yeah, yeah, we had a great laugh, Ok? What's the big deal, really?'
Amazing cosmic power and THAT is what you ask for!?
Don't heal the sick, cure cancer, elimnate world hunger, nah. Break my cable box...
Way to go, sport.
Ya know, I first read this as Benny Hill, too. That would be good, him as an English vicar or fundie preacher. The skit just about writes itself. :)
If Christians believed that not just god had supernatural power, but that some humans can wield it to, their god wouldn't come off as such a massive asshole. Then it wasn't god doing petty things, it was... some guy that wasn't god, at least. Then it wouldn't be god doing little things when big things need doing, but humans. Which wouldn't surprise anyone.
"I remember that I was 17 years of age. I was still in high school. My enjoyment after school was seeking the LORD and reading the bible."
Wow
I read the babble when I was 7 and concluded it was utter moronic bullshit.
You must be remarkably stupid.
Christ, I work for the cable company and can explain that. The crappy boxes you get most of the time with cable are glitchier than a brand new version of windows and one of their favorite tricks is to "stick" on whatever channel you happen to be watching when they decide to give up the ghost. Be grateful that you weren't watching the pron when it happened.
I call shennanigans. Put more simply, I think you're a damn liar.
. She called the cable company up and made a complaint.
So would I.
Lying for Jesus is so cute.
My enjoyment after school was seeking the LORD and reading the bible.
I see. Let's just say, theoretically, you got out of school at 3pm and didn't hit the sack until 9pm. So, for those hours all you did was read your bible? Lol yawn.
Stuck on Benny Hinn? Ugh. That's just... wrong.
Then again, the fact that anyone takes him the slightest bit seriously is beyond wrong. There isn't a sincere bone in that man's body.
I found this information on Google.com and it speaks about my Testimony of the TBN miracle. Yes it is true that the day after I prayed for every channel to become the same network that every channel became the same channel.
My Father at the time did not believe in God. He would shut the TV off because he was like many of you. He didn't care about God or respect him. I didn't like this, so I asked God to make every channel one channel so he couldn't touch the TV.
You can put me down or say this is a lie, that is your perception and it is erroneous. But I'm telling you the truth. What happened that day was a phenomenon. Every channel became 1 channel. To be quite honest with you, it was pretty funny when it happened. My Mother was trying to change the channels and she could not. I was just as amazed as she was, I couldn't believe my prayer worked.
I hope you find Christ/God this year. I love you despite your remarks and hope to see change in your life. You deserve the best this Holiday season.
I forgive all of you, for those that continue to show disrespect and insult me, its time to grow up and become what you were born to be.
Stephen Choate
The ONE you insulted and the story you doubted
Some of you read my recent article in regards to my defense and testimony. I forgot to "THANK ALL OF YOU for FREE ADVERTISEMENTS"
I just reviewed my SERVER and it said I had 26 additional visitors to my website from this website. Thank you for increasing my RANK on the NET. I appreciate it! Your visits mean that my website will be worth more and have greater value. Thank you for posting all of the erroneous and childish insults. Because in the midst of that chaos and retarded perception, you will have had added greater popularity and worth to my personal network.
Man, the God I read about in the Bible could send plagues, cure the sick, and raise the dead.
All yours does is break the TV. Lame!
And now I see from PubAdmin that Stephen Choate has changed his mind ... he's not grateful to us for improving his net ranking, no, he's going to sue us, because (I love this) his name is copyrighted.
You can't make it up, can you? (Well, Stephen Choate(c) can, it seems).
It gets better; Stephen Choate(c) says on PubAdmin:
Deformation of Character is a CRIME. I will be bring this case to COURT
I'm going to PURSUE LEGAL ACTION AGAINST FUNDIE, LAWSUIT IS COMING
Steve, ol' pal, your character was deformed long before we came along. Which fundie you gonna sue, anyway? Hovind's already taken.
Has anybody read his site? It's very interesting. For only $77, Stephen will send you a prophecy. It isn't clear if you can sue him if the prophecy turns out to be wrong. Nice work if you can get it, eh? The words 'fraud' and 'charlatan' are somehow coming to my mind.
I'll give you a prophecy for free. His lawsuit will never materialise.
If you care to point out any alteration to the quotes from the originals I'll change it. I do have a copy of this original here on my computer and I don't see anything at first glance.
Enjoy the extra hits, and know that they're all laughing at you. And if they're reading the comments, they're laughing again as that whole fair use argument has been done to death with other people. But hey, if you want to be laughed at by a Laywer go right ahead.
I'm just telling you now, the more whining you do the more of your quotes that will pop up. Be glad the comments here aren't being made on your page, move on, and perhaps learn a little bit.
Feel free to hop over on the forums and detail your issues with me, but stop spamming public admin, you're just annoying people.
He still be whining:
Since you have not complied with my request, for every visitor that CLICKS on the LINK to SpeakGodSpeak that is found on your server, I have made it where it speaks about FSTDT.com and says that you are an ILLEGAL website.
In addition to the article I have written, I have already contacted a Lawyer and will pursue this as I have stated before.
Contact the owner ASAP and remove the article. Its that simple. I will not stop until this is completed.
The LINK you submitted about my site, now will SAY, "YOUR SITE IS ILLEGAL", Remove the Articles immediately, they are COPYRIGHTED
Actually all you get if you click the link is a 404. So his web skills suck as much as his legal knowledge. I wonder how much that lawyer can sucker him for?
You can't copyright your name. You could trademark your name, but that doesn't mean that no one else is allowed to speak it or communicate it. Disney is a trademark and I just said it...Disney Disney Disney. What your trademark means, if you indeed have one, is that someone else can't use your name commercially. Quoting you isn't commercial use. I bet Madonna has her name trademarked and I could quote her all day long as long as what I say is accurate. So, major lawsuit fail right out of the box.
I don't think I have met so many rude people in my life. Nobody here has any decency at all. Just a cynical mindset about life in general.
Trying to tear people down because of what you don't understand reflects how uneducated you truly are. Your arrogant and proud perception is a laughing stock before those who are smart.
By the way, the Quality of this website is quite bad. It has no real template design or logo design. The people who support tearing people down are nothing more than losers. You have no joy or true happiness. So you come here for a laugh. Its sad.
Maybe one day you will come out from your Mother's Basement and enjoy life to the fullest. Perhaps you will get a job or maybe stop playing so many video games. For whatever reason, I hope you become successful, because you need a change.
Given up on the sueing thing and resorting to descending to our level, Stephen? Did the lawyer tell you you were on a loser? Tough break. Still, you can always console yourself with Jesus, and the thought that we're all going to hell FOREVER. Just think, if we didn't exist, you'd have no-one to feel superior to, and what other point does religion have, eh?
Hey, I think it's nice to see "SpeakGodSpeak CREATOR" here. Maybe he can finally explain to all of us why his God sees it as more important to break his mother's cable box than to do anything for the hungry masses in Africa, or any other group in need.
I'm truly curious.
"Trying to tear people down because of what you don't understand reflects how uneducated you truly are. Your arrogant and proud perception is a laughing stock before those who are smart."
Nice try, really but your story is quite outrageous kind of like an alien abduction tale. It sounds as made up as something a two year old would say to get out of trouble when caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
Only stupid, unthinking people take those kinds of things as truth at face value. I don't mind being the laughing stock of people that are dumb enough to buy anything and think that they even resemble 'smart'. The irony of being considered a fool by a bunch of morons is hilarious to me, actually. So, please go on. I could use a good chuckle.
By the way, you are the arrogant and proud one, pal. You think your television viewing preferences matter more to God then people who are actually suffering. Megalomania much?
Looks like Stephen didn't like all of the free attention and has changed the address. If you still want to see the original and have a good laugh, there is still a link on the front page under Miracles & Visions / TBN Miracle or you could just go straight to:-
http://speakgodspeak.com/documented-miracles/tbn-miracle.html
Looks like he isn't as sneaky as he thought.
@SpeakGodSpeak CREATOR
"By the way, the Quality of this website is quite bad. It has no real template design or logo design."
Oh, thems be fightin' words! You can call me rude, uneducated, unemployed, sad, and imply that I live in my mother's basement, but when you knock the Quality of FSTDT.com (with a capital "Q"!!), and it's template design and/or logo design, then you ask for the wrath of JustinGG!
Right now, I'm mentally comanding your cat to pee on your bed. And you know I know you know that atheists can do that kind of thing.
Ah c'mon guys. We were all hitting his site for amusement. He sees all those hits, gets excited thinking they are marks for "prophecy for profit" and then tracks it back here. And finds out he is not only not gonna make any money from rubes, but he is the butt of endless jokes and derision. No wonder the guy is upset.
You are accusing someone you don't even know.
And you aren't?
Hypocrite.
Yes it is true that the day after I prayed for every channel to become the same network that every channel became the same channel.
There are people out their who are really suffering. Little children are dieing of starvation. God must be really fucked up if he thinks that your TV channel is more important than them.
Your arrogant and proud perception is a laughing stock before those who are smart.
Hey buddy, you were the one praying for god to make the Benny Hinn show last forever. Did you ever stop to think, "Hey, maybe I should stop watching so much TV and go outside, talk to other young people, and maybe even get a part time job!"
Psittacosis said:
Has anybody read his site? It's very interesting. For only $77, Stephen will send you a prophecy. It isn't clear if you can sue him if the prophecy turns out to be wrong. Nice work if you can get it, eh? The words 'fraud' and 'charlatan' are somehow coming to my mind.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the bible speak against prophesying?
Wow. Internet lawyers, internet toughguys, internet is serious business all wrapped in one moment of perfect failure.
I'm going to print and frame this one.
Um...first of all, why didn't you suck it up or ask for your own TV instead of praying?
I don't think I have met so many rude people in my life. Nobody here has any decency at all.
Why, I never! I'm not rude.
Trying to tear people down because of what you don't understand reflects how uneducated you truly are.
Sounds like someone I know...
Your arrogant and proud perception is a laughing stock before those who are smart.
Actually, I'm pretty smart and very observant. I certainly do have my stupid moments.
By the way, the Quality of this website is quite bad. It has no real template design or logo design.
Should they even have a reason to make a template design or a logo design? What reason should they have if it's jsut a site to post quotes that we deem fundie? It's harmless, and legal since it's freedom of speech.
The people who support tearing people down are nothing more than losers.
Oh, there goes my irony meter. (Calling people losers is rude. [Not to mention downright stupid])
You have no joy or true happiness.
I'm actually very happy and have alot of joy.
"For only $77, Stephen will send you a prophecy"
Snake oil here! Get your bona fide snake oil only 77 bucks a pop!
There's the regular comment that we're the unhappy-joyless group and it's 'so sad.' Come on...let's hear something new.
fyi...I'm happy and enjoy life. Like all humans I have my days but I love life in general. $77.00, huh? Oh, I don't think I'm a loser. That's an insult from somebody pissed off with others.
Bah, the bugger keeps changing the URL, ah well I'll try to keep it updated correctly.
Prod me on the forums if it's wrong, I can fix it in about 20 seconds once I know it's wrong.
HAH! He did take it down entirely.
Well, for now it'll have to wait, but I do have a copy of the page saved, I've got it saved for a rainy day/legal claims against the site, but should I aquire decent hosting I'll into puting it back up somewhere.
For you main pagers who never make it to the forums, I've been keeping a running record of his messages to me in a thread here But I think you guys will get a kick out of what I sincerely hope is the last email he sends me:
You must be the owner?
From: Stephen Choate (stephen)
Sent: Sun 11/30/08 3:15 PM
To: Scott Smith (distind)
Why don't me and you work out some type of financial agreement. How about I pay you to remove all the information and we can forget about court?
Stephen
Suffice to say, this quote is going no where and I have no intention of dignifying that email with a response.
I read a story once where a cable company was actually toying with the idea of, instead of simply disabling the cable of people who were deliquent in their payments, to give them TBN on all 60+ channels they were recieving...
Not paying your debts isn't very Christian, is it?
Acts 8:20-21
"Peter answered: "May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God."
And funny enough, if we speak with the company, they'll tell us that they know nothing or, worse, we will find in google that eight people in Minesota, at least, have experienced that. By the way, why are you suing us, if you're so convinced of your story?
Look Stephen, you want to earn my respect? Make a prophecy here on FSTDT and if it comes true, I for one, will acknowledge it. I'll even apologize for the things I've said about your, uhm, gift. Just make sure its a specific prophecy with a specific date, none of this "there will be hurricanes in Florida" business that you "prophets" usually make.
And please, don't say that doing such a thing is beneath your dignity. I've seen the shameless self promotion you splash all over your website in an effort to get people to throw pennies at you: you have no dignity! And don't tell me that god doesn't do parlor tricks to impress scoffers. The Book of Exodus is filled with divine parlor tricks. You have read Exodus, haven't you?
So Stephen, the ball is in your court. Are you going to put up, or are you just going to live with the fact that some people in this world see you as a con man? I, for one, await your answer.
If god truly existed I don't think he'd be backing Benny fucking Hinn.
But if that's your thing good for you!
I think I would have, you know, checked the remote before jumping to that conclusion but apparently you're too willing to believe for that.
God is true, and real, but most people here don't have much understanding or they wouldn't be saying these things. First God gave man dominion on earth, and man who does not submit to a holy God and follow Him causes problems in the earth. Satan also comes to steal kill and lie, the Bible says that he blinds the minds of unbelievers, and that is what has happend to most of you. (No this Stephen may not be perfect, but who is?) But most of the comments here shows most of you need Jesus. He came to bring you light and truth and to restore you into a relationship with God. He also came to destroy the works of the devil, but God gave man a free will to choose. If you choose to walk in the darkness instead of recieve the free gift of salvation and eternal life than you choose to walk in darkness, and also end up in hell. Jesus loves you, give Him a chance, He is the only one who is perfect. Have a blessed day! Oh PS, I have a book coming out soon that will answer many questions, it's called "Walking in the True Light" I'm not known so it may be in stores, but you will be able to find it when it does come out, I hope it will help you so you can recieve all God has for you. God bless you as you search for truth.
So God granted your selfish, petty, insignificant request, while ignoring me begging him every night for 5 years in a row to please, please make the beatings and humiliation stop?
Tell your sky fairy to reconsider his fucking priorities.
If the TV had gotten stuck on the Playboy channel, you would have come up with a scenario of how the devil had taken over the TV. You would have given us a lesson in the invasive power of Satan.
Had the TV been stuck on some other channel you would have had another story yet. The only thing we can be assured of was that the story would have "proven" some other aspect of your belief system.
And the amazing thing is that you would have believed with all your heart in any one of the stories.
Sorry people with any sense do not believe in your stories.
Have a read of this,
http://marxists.anu.edu.au/archive/luria/works/1930/child/ch05.htm
the anecdote about cherries in particular reminds me of this guy's post. Forget the soviet aspect; it's based on Piaget, who is pretty well respected everywhere.
In fact, apply it to all the fundies we get here. LOADS of them seem to conform very closely to what one would expect from people who are several of Piaget's stages below an adult level of mental development.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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