I completely agree that men must love their wives by washing of water through the Word.

The problem is that many women, including Christian women, don’t like what that “washing of water through the Word” looks like and feels like. Most Christian pastors will say that that true “washing of water through the Word” is emotional and spiritual abuse.

A man who undertakes to do this has to insist on his spiritual headship and on her submission. he has to have the final say in everything; i.e. if the two don’t agree, he breaks the tie and they do it his way. She submits even if she disagrees completely. He has to insist she give up control. He has to take control of things. He puts her on a budget and insist he stick to it. He insists on being consulted before major purchases.

He insists on knowing her general comings and goings, the routine and rhythm of her daily life. If she goes somewhere, he has the right to know where she’s going, if he decides to ask. If she does go somewhere, she accounts for where she was and who she was with if he asks. He insists on knowing generally who her friends are, who she associates with, and what organizations she belongs to; and she must tell him. Sometimes, he shows up unannounced at her work, her club functions, her friends’ homes, simply to satisfy himself that she really is where she said she would be. If she’s an SAHM, he shows up without warning at home in the middle of the day, to make sure she is doing what she needs to do and is where she claims to be. If she is talking to someone on the phone, he has the right to ask whom she was talking to and what it was about. He has the right to know anything and everything going on in his house, involving his house, and in any way touching or concerning the people who live in that house and the things in and around that house [...]

But you see, women do not like this. What I’ve outlined above is considered abusive, controlling, and sick. Women rail against this and claim they are “being controlled”.