Right now all of your hateful feelings are being aimed at the man (or woman) who molested you. This is because it is more comfortable for you to blame a person than it is to blame God. By focusing on the human who abused you, you are protecting yourself from having to face some extremely upsetting truths that would require massive changes to your theology. The human who interacted with you was just a middleman. God is the One who you should really be blaming for what happened. The whole thing was His idea. God does not hate you. He loves you. But He is also the only reason you were molested. He could have easily protected you, but He chose not to. Not because He doesn’t love you. Not because He didn’t understand what this would do to you. He understood perfectly, yet He still chose it. These are some extremely difficult and painful truths and most Christians will adamantly tell you that God had nothing to do with what happened to you. But most Christians are not going to do what is best for you. They are only going to do what is best for them.