Our purpose is to get one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time.
Programmed and run by Christians, for Christians
Annual re-subscription fees will drop proportionally to the number of subscribers
Messages sent out 6 days after the rapture
You can edit your documents and the recipients any time
Your sensitive documents are stored encrypted
62 comments
I know nothing about computers, but surely some bright spark will be able to tinker with the site and get those rapture documents sent out prematurely? Just imagine the chaos:
"Hey dude, I got an email from you saying the rapture has happened and i've been left behind. What's that about?"
"Those emails were sent out? The site members haven't logged on? But that means... oh nooooooooo!"
I think I've seen this before, or a similar "service". It was set on a timer-type thing, where if something wasn't reset by a certain time on certain dates, the email would be sent.
All I could think was, "What if they forgot?"
@D Laurier
Yet another obvious scam aimed at gullable fundies, Who will of course fall over themselves in the rush to be the first one cheated out of their money.
Damn... I should've thought of this. Annual subscription fees! Until the Rapture!
I'd never have to work a day in my life!
As for how it works, assuming it actually does and that these people aren't just stealing Death Cultists' money, then I suppose it automatically sends the messages after six days without use.
"In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys'"
Somebody will be retiring to their own island very soon.
"There's a sucker born every minute." -P.T. Barnum. I truly love this, making money off gullible fundies. If they are dumb enough to believe in a non-Biblical 19th century religious scam as a Christian tenet then they should certainly fall for this fraud. Hell, they got a built-in group of patsies at Rapture ready.
If it's after the rapture the only people left to get it won't give a crap - and being saved won't be an option anyway, since the rapture already happened and what the hell are newly saved people, who haven't been raptured, going to do?
So, you're trying to make money off gullible fundies with no common sense?
Oh, such ethical, christian behavior.
Why "6 days" I wonder ?
A fundy I used to work with bought a little plaster eagle from (I think it was the Crystal Cathedral, or maybe Jerry Falwell?) to get into the 700 Club. The first 700 to ascend. The same exact little eagles, and bigger ones, are for sale here in 99¢ stores for = 99 cents. His cost him $700, but, of course, it's blessed by JEEEEZus himself, unlike all those fake 1 buck millions cranked out by the heathen Chinee. I wonder now - if and when he gets rapped, and his clothes, fillings, his undigested food, and maybe his poop, too, are all left behind with his Rapture Map - does he get to carry the little statuette along to show it to St. Pete?
Annual re-subscription fees will drop proportionally to the number of subscribers
This has got to be one of the most often told lies of the modern age. Even if the promise is made sincerely, nobody ever carries it through.
I'm actually kind of impressed by the absurdity of this.
I want to work there. I mean, they'd need me, like OnAnotherNote says. Surely they ain't gonna stick around, so somebody has to get those notes around. XP
Oh, I wish I would have thought of this. Damn.
"Programmed and run by Christians, for Christians"
Well, not really for christians, since the end product is delivered to us poor souls left behind.
"Annual re-subscription fees will drop proportionally to the number of subscribers"
And toll roads will revert to free after the initial construction costs are collected after 10 years. Ha!
Entrepreneurial Fundies, You've Been Left Behind
At least they have the entreprenurial part right. How many subscribers do they have in order to earn money from others beliefs?
"Messages sent out 6 days after the rapture"
Ooh! I'll be checking my mailbox daily! Shouldn't be too long now, right?
They have five crew members "scattered around the U.S." who log in on a regular basis. If at least three of them fail to log in within 6 days, the emails are sent. (Just in case there are two who weren't ever TRULY "saved"! LMAO!) It would be so godamn HILARIOUS if those emails were sent off by accident!!!
Many years from now, when those "crew members" are rotting in the ground, I wonder if there will be any more suckers still crying "Jeezuz is comin to rupture us outa here!"
I'm so gonna call a lawyer friend of mine tomorrow. If he can figure out a way around the whole complete and total fraud angle...
Well, if y'all don't here from me in the six days, just assume my computer will automatically send a message saying "I've been raptured, and you're gonna BURN!!! nanananaNAH". (Or retired to Key West.)
"You will also be able to give them some help in living out their remaining time. In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys' (you won't be needing them any more, and the gift will drive home the message of love)"
would love to see what happen if the script is triggered by accident....
I thought rapture ready had cornered this market (or do they not do the email in case of rapture thing?). I've always thought it would be a great business to get into. Make a website and pretend to be some holier than though Christian that's just nuts enough to believe in the rapture and charge people a one time fee (although I like the subscription bit since that just goes on forever) and say that I wrote a program that will send everyone on a list a rapture email if I don't confirm daily/weekly/whatever that the rapture hasn't occured. Obviously my 'being raptured' precludes me from using the program and so all the emails theoretically go out, but it's not actually necessary to do any of that since it would never happen.
Maybe I shuold do this...is there a better busniess plan than taking people's money in exchange for a service that never has to be rendered?
Damn such a brilliant scam, wish I'd come up with it.
Would be funny if someone hacked it and tripped the message sending early.
This is very strange.
I woke up on Saturday afternoon and the wife and kids were gone. Now, they are very nice people so, naturally, it occurred to me that they had been "Rapped".
Didn't any of you other posters notice the world was a little nicer on Saturday?
Yes !
I just got my mail and, sure enough, the kids write "We've gone to a better place."
Good for them. I hope they enjoy Osaka.
Definitely not. You only provide them with service for something they believe in.
It would be the same as if people believed that bulls testicles enhance the virility and you would sell them bulls testicles.
If you don´t state that "bulls balls are guaranteed to enhance your virility" but instead say that "according to this and this religious scripture bulls balls enhance your virility" I don´t think that it would count as fraud.
Same for the rapture ;)
:hits himself repeatedly in head:
Why, oh why, oh why didn't I think of this?! Whyyyy?! Aaaargh!
Holy shit, I've never seen a better get-rich-quick scheme in my life. It's not even a get-rich-quick scheme, it's a get-rich-quick-while-screwing-over-your-enemy scheme!
Whyyyyyyy!
:Tears out chunks of own hair:
Messages sent out 6 days after the rapture
This must mean that either the company knows the exact time, date, and year for the rapture or they have a few token atheists who will operate their final instructions after the fundies have disappeared.
"This must mean that either the company knows the exact time, date, and year for the rapture or they have a few token atheists who will operate their final instructions after the fundies have disappeared."
Perhaps they have a "7th Trumpet detector" that starts a 6 day timer, but only if they are 7th trumpeters, or whatever...
you've been left behind..... oh the irony!
in the present, a lot of humans have actually learned to embrace reality as it is, these people are called 'atheists'. if I didn't know you wouldn't listen, I'd try to convince you to not believe in 2000-year old fairytales anymore.....
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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