In my video in which I burned the Koran, I bookmarked the various pages with strips of raw bacon. Why did I do this? Is it because I actually believed that I was thumbing my nose at a non-existent pagan moon deity? Nope. People, there is NO SUCH THING AS “ALLAH”, so therefore what sense would it make for me to “offend” or “bait” a non-existent entity?

And a book is just a book. The paper is made out of tree cellulose and the ink is made out of petroleum and probably some sort of soy derivative. The bacon itself was composed of muscle tissue, fat tissue and connective tissue. The components of these tissues are water, protein, fatty acids and collagen. Break it down further and we’re talking carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen in various configurations. Touching a piece of bacon, or any piece of pork or pigskin to a book does not result in anything except making a bit of a greasy mess of the book. No pagan moon deity is roused from slumber and filled with murderous wrath. Do you know why? Because THERE IS NO PAGAN MOON DEITY.

So why did I bookmark my koran with bacon? Because it was WITTY. Because it pointed up the absurdity of the West’s groveling before musloid superstitions – specifically the U.S. Military’s rules and protocol for handling korans, namely handling with the right hand only, and preferably with the hand or hands gloved.

Yeah, because the people who actually use toilet paper and DON’T wipe their butts with their bare left hands are the ones with the “dirty hands”. You betcha, General Petraeus.

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Christ, on the other hand, is Real. Not only is He real, but He was there, in the septic tank with Thomas Vander Woude. Christ knows all about diving into tanks of shit, because that is exactly what He did for us. He was literally born in shit, in a cave that acted as a shelter for livestock. The floors were covered in shit, as were the walls. Don’t think that wasn’t symbolic and carefully planned by Him. You don’t think He could have worked it out so that there was one room left at the inn? Sure He could have – but He specifically chose the shit. He chose the shit because humanity fell into the septic tank, and we are all, every single one of us, drowning in our own shit. We just call it “sin”. The funny thing is, most of us don’t feel Jesus underneath us, holding us up. It just feels like we are standing on a solid base. You know why? Because like Thomas Vander Woude, Our Blessed Lord isn’t struggling. He isn’t squirming or flailing as He sucks our shit into his lungs. He’s just down there, supporting us, holding us up, drowning in our shit, with more solidity than the foundations of the earth, so that we can have life. I reckon the challenge in day-to-day life is to never delude one’s self into thinking that we are standing on the bottom of the tank and holding ourselves up. We aren’t. That’s Our Blessed Lord down there, whether or not we perceive it, or even believe it.

Remember this the next time you hear some musloid waxing philosophical on ritually clean death and admission criteria to “allah’s paradise”. And don’t belittle Christ, His Incarnation and His Sacrifice by encouraging such stupidity of thought. The fates of men’s souls aren’t trivia, and it sure as heck isn’t a game of tag played with pork products. Shooting someone with a pork-coated bullet doesn’t make you the judge of mankind, determining who goes to hell and who doesn’t. That task belongs to Christ and Christ alone, since it is Christ and Christ alone who has willingly drowned in the shit of every human being. And for that we should feel nothing but gratitude.