"The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces," Wooden said, noting that gay sex would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race.”
He then added, "Who wants to practice anything that is going to ultimately lead a grown man to about the time he’s in his 40s or 50s, or what not, having to wear a diaper or a 'butt plug' just to be able to contain their bowels?"
72 comments
Well, it seems you've upped the rhetorical ante there. Allow me to raise you one:
Not allowing gay sex and gay marriage would mean the extinction of ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE. (Evidence? What's that?)
Also, to the HuffPo writer: don't use "noted" for bizarre assertions like this. "Noted" means "it's already known, and I am merely adding this information to the current discourse." What this guy did isn't "noting," more like "frothing at the mouth."
Oh dear!. These fundies are far more interested in gay sex than most gays that I know. Can it be that they have a hankering for it? That would go some way to explain their fear of the extinction of the human species.
For all his interest, Pastor Wooden (what a name - is it a poe?) doesn't seem to be aware that in general gays make sure that the colonic area is clean, and then will likely use condoms. Moreover, many do not engage in anal sex.
The claim that gay men have to wear diapers is totally unfounded. Normal gay sex does not result this at all.
To finish, the pastor should be aware that may heterosexual couple engage in anal sex. Are their sphincters specially elasticated by God so as to stand up to penetration by penis or sex toy? Cleary the pastor believes that God does not give such elasticity to the anuses of gays.
Isn't 'designed' to be emptied into a handkerchief, either, Pastor Wooden, but I'm pretty sure that's where most of yours goes.
"Who wants to practice anything that is going to ultimately lead a grown man to about the time he’s in his 40s or 50s, or what not, having to wear a diaper or a 'butt plug' just to be able to contain their bowels?"
Right!
What we need are more healthy heterosexuals:
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They won't need a butt-plug at 50: they won't live past 40 anyway.
"The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces,"
So then, by his logic, lesbians and celibate gay men are just fine since they don't engage in anal sex.
...noting that gay sex would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race.”
As does hetero sex that doesn't result in children. But we still allow heteros to get married just the same.
Wooden said, noting that gay sex would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race.”
Funny how thousands of years of gay sex have resulted in 7 billion people on earth.
Ooh, you start by begging the question.
Furthermore, I am a straight man. I have always been a straight man, and I always will be a straight man. I do not now, nor have I ever, seen the appeal of teh buttsecks, and nothing that ever happens can ever make me see the appeal of teh buttsecks. If gays are completely accepted, that is not going to turn straight people gay! This really isn't too hard to understand. After all, in every First World country outside the United States, LGBT have either won their struggle for equality or have the end within their grasp; in either case, they're much further along than their counterparts in the United States. And yet, people of the opposite sex still fuck each other, constantly, over there. You can't really think that NOBODY in the US knows about the conditions of other countries, can you Mr. Wooden? Yet that's what you would need in order to prevent gay rights and pacifism and universal health care forever. Eventually, people will have seen through your bullshit.
It should be noted however, that God has no problem with human sperm being emptied into an old gym sock, a towel, the navel, the mouth, the ear, the hair, the carpet, bedsheets, the shower floor or anywhere else that men, or women, can hit with a flick of the wrist!
Some straight people engage in anal sex. Some gay guys don't engage in anal sex.
As only about 10 percent of the population is homosexual, if they don't procreate, it won't make that much of a difference. The 90 percent who are heterosexual are more than able to keep Earth dangerously over-populated.
If you're careful and don't force the sphincter, you won't rupture it. It is "designed" to allow stuff to pass through it, ya know.
"The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces."
Well, DUH. That's why you take a shit BEFORE anal sex, so that area won't be filled with feces.
"Who wants to practice anything that is going to ultimately lead a grown man to about the time he’s in his 40s or 50s, or what not, having to wear a diaper or a 'butt plug' just to be able to contain their bowels?"
Um, this is exactly the same as arguing that a woman who has given birth cannot use a tampon. Because it will fall out of her stretched-out vagina.
Elasticity: Orifices have it!
@Wooden
The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces. And, like it or not, every boy, evenespeciallythose who manage to abstain from masturbation, will at some point smear plenty of this oh-so-sacred sperm all over their pajamas and bedsheets, thanks to a little something called a nocturnal emission. And then these so-holy sperm you hold in such high regard will just wind up being washed out with the rest of the sweat, dirt, mites, and other grime collected on the linens on laundry day, unceremoniously flushed out down the pipes and to the local water treatment plant. Did God design that?
way to do my home state proud mr. wooden. whatever you do, don't get near carrboro.
makes me remember a girl from my hometown who was well known for a certain... let's say "aptitude" for the act in question.
Wooden said, noting that gay sex would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race."
Damn, those gays are pretty powerful. I wouldn't piss them off if I were you.
"The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces," Wooden said, noting that gay sex would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race.”
He then added, "Who wants to practice anything that is going to ultimately lead a grown man to about the time he’s in his 40s or 50s, or what not, having to wear a diaper or a 'butt plug' just to be able to contain their bowels?"
Oh, I dunno, Pastor Wood ...:
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'We don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It’s written in the Bible.'
-Ted Faggard
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...you tell me.
"Pastor" Wooden should agree to be sterilized immediately.
After all, he believes God doesn't want sperm in an asshole.
You do know that heterosexuals sometimes practice anal, right?
Why are you so obsessed with homosex? Hmmm? HMMMM?
What the fuck is it with these people and scatological imagery? Its almost like an obsession or something...
Seriously, though, is it too much to ask that we can't just let two (or more, come to think of it) people who love each other alone, without imaginging what they get up to when its sexy time?
I do love the end of the human race part though. So what if it does? We've been here, well, at least an eye-blink in geological terms. Lets give some other species a chance. Particularly if none of its members are such... such members , as you.
And yet, even as we speak, the human population is 7,000,000,000+ AND counting.
[...]it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces[...]
You have proof of that? A certificate, perhaps, or some service manual on sperm? How do you know what it was "designed" for? Because the way things are now, the efficiency of sperm "as designed" is... oh, about 0.00002%. Even in the best case scenario, vast majority of them end up decomposing serving no useful purpose whatsoever.
Oh, and LOL at "extinction of human race." Kind of like "OMFG WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF SAND!!!"
My boyfriend's dad is gay. He is fifty-ish. I am pretty sure he doesn't wear diapers. Butt plugs are another story, but I wouldn't want to know that.
Extinction of the human race-lolololol. Extinction is more likely to happen if one of you neocon war hawks starts a nuclear war with Iran like you're just dying to.
Obviously a valid argument, because homosexuality and anal sex are naturally the same thing. (/sarcasm)
Seriously? I like other guys (and girls; I'm bi) and I have no desire to have anal sex. It's like all these fundies belive homosexuality is nothing but anal sex for some reason.
So buttsex stretches the sphincter to death? Sometimes, I take dumps that are visibly bigger than a dick. WHAT WILL I DO!?!?!?? AAAAH!!!
Also do you know about seminal plugs? They happen when lizards ejaculate without being fully erect. The hemipenes are still inside the cloaca, so they come into their own butt. Obviously, your god had some ideas about where sperm should go...
Why is it every time the question of gays comes up, it's always about sex? I swear for people who find it abhorrent, they certainly think about a lot.
Not just sex -- it's always ANAL sex. As if every single gay person ever does it. And as if that's all they ever do.
Oral sex? Apparently not. Frotting? Never heard of it. Mutual masturbation? Apparently that doesn't count. Kissing and holding hands? Don't be ridiculous. Nope, it's all about the BUTTSECKS.
I'm sure that an omniscient, omnipotent being supposedly in control of the entire Universe is intimately concerned with the reproductive habits of the inhabitants of one planet in an unremarkable solar system in an ordinary galaxy. The only good thing about this dribble is it reminded me of this:
http://youtu.be/U0kJHQpvgB8
I used to empty my sperm into a woman's rectum, is that ok, Pastor? Or should I have used your wife's dirty, dirty mouth instead? ;)
It's certainly true that the anus is designed to expel things and not have things inserted into it, unlike the vagina, and that prolonged anal sex can be damaging.
Wow, bible-thumpers are really fucking retarded if they believe that the entire human race is going homo. Really? I realize that they're pretty well divorced from reality, but this is just too stupid for mere words to express.
"The God of the Bible made Pastor Wooden's mouth to eat food. The God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to talk shit" Wooden said, noting that more people like Pastor Wooden would "most certainly mean the extinction of the human race.”
I'm not asserting this, I'm just parsing your logic. How's that work out for you?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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