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32 comments
If heaven is going to be filled only with blind-faith morons and a god that punishes non-worshipers with an eternity of torment that leads to two points:
Why would you want to spend eternity in that "heaven?"
Then hell would be filled with the people who are actually good human beings, and id much rather spend eternity there.
There you have it, if your version of god is true, then I would rather go to hell.
I second this statement.
It really dosen't matter for fundies to behave like normal, civilized persons. They "know", they can behave like those dumb, willfully ignorant, antisocial, self-centered morons/pricks/asses who they really are, because they will go to heaven anyway.
They have this secret weapon called "faith".
This reminds me of Margaret Thatcher's interpretation of the story,'what was important about the Good Samaritan was that he had money'.
But yes, I think KnaverAbounds meant this sarcastically. It's one of the parables that wasn't thought through properly.
The Good Samaritan was a character in a parable. A fictional character used to illustrate a rhetorical point. See where this is going?
By the same logic, Little Red Riding-Hood went to Hell because she didn't accept Jesus as her saviour before the wolf ate her.
I don't call Poe, I call non-believer making a sarcastic point, which is not the same as Poe'ing, as he's not trying to impersonate a Christian.
This is irony. It doesn't even fall afoul of Poe's Law:
Hmm, well that just completely fucks up the entire bloody point of the story.
This is why I hate Christianity.
Kind of defeats the whole purpose of christianity, doesn't it?
No wonder fundies are so fat & lazy, they don't think they have to do anything.
The main contenders for a rather long sojourn in hell tend to be comfortable and well-fed with easy access to life-prolonging, scientific and modern conveniences. Ally those hell-friendly living conditions with an abject failure to take advantage of a widely available education service and easily obtainable educative materials and combine with a willful desire to be barbaric despite living in a civilized society.
Additionally, take the egotistical view that it is perfectly alright to sail majestically through life lying ones head off, being deliberately deceptive, indulging in irrational hatreds and weakly giving in to ones worse desires and bigotries. Allow ones irresponsibility and laziness to propagate by passing it on to ones children. Attempt to justify ones base need for nastiness by interpreting ancient scriptures so that they can be claimed to support ones abhorrent views. Do all that, and you too can look forward to a decidedly warm afterlife.
well, i'd like to counter that with my own argument. you're full of shit, your god is full of shit, and your morals aren't worth a shit. and a great big, hardy FUCK YOU from me to you.
"...you just have to be Christian to get into heaven..."
Soooo, if, for instance, we have someone who lives in the jungles of New Guinea and has never heard of your jesus character and in spite of this dedicates their life to helping others, they go to hell while a murdering, torturing, raping scum bag who converts to christianity at the last second goes to heaven?
Your god's an arsehole, you know that?
Yes. I've learned that you people follow the sickest, most disturbingly twisted version of Christianity I've ever seen.
If I weren't already non-Christian, I'd deconvert solely on the basis of this shit right here.
So I'm just going to give lip service to God & Jesus saying that I accept them as lord & savior, then go about treating everyone else like shit because I know I'm going to Heaven. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Seriously, where do these people get all this "you just have to accept Jesus as your savior" nonsense, and then forget all about what Jesus actually says in the bible? You know, the rare good stuff in that book, like feed the hungry, clothe the naked, help the poor, love your enemies, sell everything you have & give the money to the poor, etc? I guess that's a little inconvenient for most Christians nowadays, so it's easier just to say that Jesus is your savior.
*Edit* This is a poe judging from his other posts, but there's no shortage of Christians out there who actually believe that to get to heaven all you have to do is believe that Jesus is your savior.
Did anyone tell the Samaritan that Jesus was spreading rumors about him?
I'd be one pissed-off Samaritan, personally.
@Eden
Yes, it truly is sick that people believe just like Jack Chick does. I've seen it posted many times that good works don't get you into heaven. But what they don't realize is that most Christians believe that good works ALONE don't get you there, you need a combination of faith & good works. Trouble is that most fundies hear this message and only take the faith part.
Here's an excellent parody of the gunslinger tract: http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/fundy/fundy.html
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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