[From "The Dating Dilemma" - Bolding mine]
I have often wished parents could see their youngsters at school or Bible camp without the youngster's knowledge. Parents would learn a great deal about the impact these premature boy-girl relationships have had on their sons and daughters. I have observed at camps for example that many girls get up one and two hours before reville. To pray? Memorize Scripture, read their Bibles and meditate on Scripture? No, if this were true, we would certainly have different camps. The reason for this zeal to get out of bed is to "put on their face" with painstaking care so as to best be able to attract the latest cute boy they are chasing.
How popular would camp be if everyone knew in advance only boys or only girls would be in attendance? At the very least, I believe it is incumbent on us as Christian leaders to prevent and discourage this fleshly nonsense, such as different times for swimming of boys and girls, seating at all events, chapels, meals, etc., segregated by sex, no physical or contact sports with mixed sexes, etc.
My children know they will never be allowed to date a person their parents are not actively considering as genuine marriage-material for them. And then, dating is with a no-touch policy and is always chaperoned.
In other words, such dating would not occur until after high school and would be under strictly controlled circumstances. Moreover, the person dated would only be a candidate previously considered, prayed over, and enthusiastically approved by the parents, not someone chosen by the emotional whims or fleshly likes of our children. Most youngsters know far more about driving a car than they do about how to choose a marriage partner.
What a relief for a youngster to know that they are not allowed to participate in frantic boy/girl relationships! They can actually concentrate on the responsibility of becoming the youngster God and their parents want them to be instead of being involved in this popular, fleshly distraction. Some youngsters are battling with feelings of insecurity, low self-image, rejection, etc., because of the intense social pressure among their peers to conform in this practice of dating. They believe they are a failure if they do not measure up to the standards of the group.
Mom and Dad, if you would prevent this dating game in your youngster's life, you will probably see improved academics, family relationships, spiritual growth, and emotional stability instead of wondering about their loyalty, thought life, and whether they will keep their purity through high school. One cannot find what we call dating or pairing off in the Bible with the possible exception of Sampson in the Book of Judges. And he stands out as a strong warning against the indulgence of flesh. Whereas he was physically the strongest man in the world, he was weak in controlling his desires and emotions which ultimately cost him his testimony, his eyesight, his honor, and even his life.
Fathers, please do not expect your virile, immature young son to control his emotions and rein in his flesh when a woman's whorish ways can even overcome many "strong men" (Proverbs 7:26), and absolutely destroy them. What he needs is a Dad who will say no to dating and pairing off for his boy and careful guidance about parentally approved, chaperoned dating when he is ready for marriage. Youngsters need parents who will be looking for prospective marriage candidates on their behalf, parents who will look for character, compatibility of families, spiritual qualifications, who would compliment their child, etc. A levelheaded, Holy Spirit directed parent is far more qualified to seek marriage prospects than a teenager with roller coaster emotions, newly functioning glands and who is filled with desires very difficult for him to control.
Parents, you can have your daughter wear a white wedding gown and not be a liar about the purity it represents. Your children can come to a wedding altar pure, having never even touched their spouse if you love them enough to lay down some rules and assist them through this potential pitfall of life called dating. It not only is devastating to emotions and to moral purity, it is a colossal failure in terms of producing strong, stable marriages. One only has to look at the overloaded divorce courts to see the awful results of dating and the marriages that resulted from this modern American practice.