Back July of 2000 a brother in church accosted me, I was wearing a nice black dress which my beloved had purchased for me. I needed a girdle to get into it, silt to the knees, skin tight, hose, heels, hair to up there and makeup... see it was in church, this brother grabbed me, kissed me after saying oh baby come here. I didn't talk with him again, I was mortified to cause a brother to stumble. I got rid of all of my shee shee dresses then and there and haven't looked back since. I now wear clothing which doesn't accentuate my shape but makes it very obvious that I'm a lady and not a man. The best thing about all of this has been that it led me to learning about submission which I am still learning regularly.
[Emphasis mine]
98 comments
I've never understood the mentality of "Someone sexually assaulted me... it must be my fault!"
Goddamn fundies. They say that someone is doomed to hell for making a certain choice. Then in certain cicumstances, say that a certain subset (gender/race/etc) isn't responsilbe for a certain choice.
Make.Up.Your.Fucking.Minds.
"The best thing about all of this has been that it led me to learning about submission which I am still learning regularly."
Then you apparently missed the part about what you're supposed to when a man wants to kiss you! Don't you know he makes all the rules? Who do you think you are, trying to tell him how he should behave?
Thanks for taking women back 100 years and enabling potential rapists!
EDIT: OMG I just looked at the site and they have pictures of women dressed in their recommended clothing!! It's like a cross between Little House on the Prairie and Killer Klowns from Outer Space!! ROFLMAO
It was nothing you did. I see plenty of half-naked sexy people where I work, and I can refrain from sexually assaulting them. So can all of my co-workers. It was HIM, and him alone, who did wrong.
This has got to be a lie, I can't imagine anyone who would have such a mindset wearing such clothes to church.
And what was your beloveds reaction to this?
silt to the knees
you should be ashamed
oh "wedding tackle" is Australian slang if you did not already know
I'm wondering what this women's poor husband is feeling. He got a nice dress for her to wear that shows some curves, but now she just wears "modesty clothing." Surely if he wanted her to look like a frumpy matron he would have got her a floor length calico jumper.
I bet he's thanking God for internet porn!
Huh? So, the guy that accosted you thought you were another guy because you wore a tight fitting dress? So, he was gay? Hey cum here, I'll teach you submission. Bend over..
Yes, Wendy...you're going to hell. You dressed like a slut, causing demons to overtake the poor slob, driving him to want to fornicate right there in the church.
BTW, Satan wants you to bring the dress and the makeup when you die.
Submission-talk gives me a throbbing boner!
Sorry ladies, there isn't much you can do that some man doesn't find a turn on. Luckily, we live a society where the majority of us can self-regulate.
I was mortified to cause a brother to stumble.
Then look before you stick your leg out to adjust your garter. Jeebus, lady, it ain't that tough.
Sounds like a sexual fantasy to me.
Dear penthouse:
"I needed a girdle to get into it, silt to the knees, skin tight, hose, heels, hair to up there and makeup... see it was in church, this brother grabbed me, kissed me after saying oh baby come here. I didn't talk with him again"
just more lying for jesus
Wow, how convenient Fundlementalism has become.
Now you can get the victim to blame themselves!
Saves court time.
And yes, that's sarcasm. Words fail me as to how I really feel.
Please God or Gods who may or may not exist,, let this be a POE
"I now wear clothing which doesn't accentuate my shape but makes it very obvious that I'm a lady and not a man"
Yes, because if you don't dress like you just walked off of the set of "Little House on The Prairie" people automatically think you're a man.
The funny thing is that, if he did that, IT'S HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS. It's he the one who should post in that forum mortifying himself, don't you think?. And with more reason. If you looked like a man, it means that HE'S GAY. He he
Besides, Wendy, try to go outside your church and you'll see what happens when you wear those things. Guys don't give a danm. It's precisely in your church where they know they can do that and get away. You may dress like little house on the prairie but you haven't convinced many women.
It's all of the men, they've done it again, the bastards!
Just because a Lady wears her French cut panties and leather mini skirt with a see-through silk blouse, is that all the preverts can think about is sex? And the mortification I experienced must have caused me to miss a lot of the sermon, because every time I dropped my hymnal and had to bend over to pick it up I heard a resounding "AMEN!". I mean - every time. Who'd've thought there would be weirdos in a church? I'm just shocked, I tell you - shocked!
The best thing about all of this has been that it led me to learning about submission which I am still learning regularly.
Sexual harassment teaches you to be submissive? Whaaa? When somebody is forcing themselves on you, how the fuck is being submissive going to make them stop? You need to be more assertive, and kick the bastard in the fork!
It appears you're suffering from a classic "just world" delusion - something bad happened to you, so you must have done something to deserve it. This gives you the reasoning skills of a fucking child, and is exactly the mindset that leads to the creation of religions, so you've got a god to attribute all random events to. Guy walking in the middle of a field gets hit by a meteorite? Wow, what are the odds? Something must have directed it towards him!
You see before you the difference between fundie women and normal women. Normal women would, at the very least, have slapped this man round the face and told him where to go. Fundie woman blames herself and dresses in a burkha. Notice that her "beloved" didn't do anything to this bloke either?
I suspect that she invented the story. Come on, no men kiss a woman who they are not dating, let alone in a church. I think that she's making the story up in the way she thinks reality is, not the way it really is.
Given some of the bizarre stories that come out of the fundie circle, we should just be thankful that the guy wasn't her biological brother.
Then again, it would explain why she shrugs it off as a fairly everyday occurence, rather than a serious sexual assault.
"Not now Billy-Joe, we're in church!"
Doctor Fishcake, that picture is so totally hot that I want to grab her and kiss her right there in the mosque, even during the khutbah. But wait -- there's that blasted thing called self-control, isn't there?
Oh, and in the rather unlikely event that that story actually happened, explain to me again how it's atheists who lack said self-control.
Uh, right. No offense Wendy, but I don't believe a word of it. If nothing else, why would this "brother" find it sexy that you were up to your knees in mud?
I got rid of all of my shee shee dresses then and there
This just sounds made-up. She's probably jealous of women she sees that aren't up-tight like her, and makes up this little fantasy about how her pew-mate jumped her when she wore too much lipstick. She wants to submit (obvious Freudian reference) but is doubtful (and therefore angry and upset) that she's the only one submitting.
Sorry Wendy, it's still not enough. You can cover up that beautiful body but so long as we know you're a woman we'll know it's under there. Those of us with over active imaginations will find imagining the body we're missing out on way sexier than if we were to just be looking at it. I'm afraid the only way to stop your poor brothers from stumbling is to cut off those beautiful breasts and buttocks, torch that vagina with a lighter and a can of deodorant and maybe dig a few chunks out of your face with a rusty screwdriver. Remember, there are some of us who find modest dress sexy and if there's anyone on the planet that finds you sexually attractive it's clearly your fault if they assault you. Please do the right thing Wendy.
I think that she's making the story up in the way she thinks reality is, not the way it really is.
Alternatively, the alleged harasser could have been equally sheltered from reality and therefore had an equally bad idea of how courtship is supposed to be done in the real world! I mean, if he does exist, then he goes to the same church as Wendy, who is definitely a bit confused!
Fundies are so funny with their bizarre and self-harming beliefs.
Am I the only one confused by this particular quote? Does she mean she caused some guy to try to kiss her just because she looked like a drag queen? Or because she was wearing normal modern clothing? Wait, I have it, she thinks it was both.
This is ridiculous, your 'brotha' is a rapist in the making if he isn't one already.
If fundies' beloved KJV Bibble, Cheezus, and Dog verify the actions of this brotha we're all doomed. We are doomed thanks to fundies' whack beliefs and their low self esteem.
Actually, lots of mono and poly theistic religions use their rhetoric as an excuse to commit untold atrocities against their brothas and sistahs.
BTW wtf is a shee shee dress?
{ #406521
She doesn't say who this "brother" is - if I didn't know that he never shows up in church, uh, GW Bush can get pretty grabby whenever he damn well feels like it, I might suspect him. Just sayin' - there ARE guys like that around.
sorry to say... i've read this quote before. when i was a shopper at her site. it was a frightening world to be in. they also don't approve women to have zippers on their clothing because it has "male connotations."
i fear for the children these people raise, who are led to believe that this is necessary...
sorry to say... i've read this quote before. when i was a shopper at her site. it was a frightening world to be in. they also don't approve women to have zippers on their clothing because it has "male connotations."
i fear for the children these people raise, who are led to believe that this is necessary...
I agree that it's the 'brother' who should have been examining his own behaviour, and that's just sad really. If the dress was as she describes it wasn't suitable for church: perhaps for dinner or something. I checked out her website, and although the obsession with headscarves is a little odd, if you look carefully she dosn't wear them all the time: they are mostly for prayer / church.
She looks like a nice lady with a happy family, who loves making things for people. It's such a shame though that this experience affected her in this way: she is still quite young and shouldn't be hung up about how she dresses in this way. I have no problem with people dressing any way they want: but psychologically she is cramping herself because she feels guilty that looking sexy made some creep grab her etc. There is something really wrong about that. If other people at church saw it might explain the huge embarrasment / guilt.
PS having seen the post above: didn't notice the zipper thing! I agree that's creepy, and the headscarf obsession was strange (although I often wear scarves, if I feel like it).
I once met a religious woman in her 50s who still lived with her parents and, I'll bet you dollars to donut-holes, had never gotten laid in her life.
She had ALL sorts of delusions about various famous men being sexually interested in her. She claimed Bo Diddly had admitted to raping her and her high-school friend on a radio interview and that that portion of the interview had "mysteriously disappeared" in every rebroadcast, she claimed that she was secretly engaged to Senator Edward Kennedy, she claimed O.J. Simpson had come on to her ...
I'm betting that "Wendy McDonnell" here might be imagining this whole scenario, just like that batty lady did.
I was mortified to cause a brother to stumble.
Right, because it's not his fault for having no self-control or responsibility for his own actions! No, not at all!
This is just sad, really, really sad. Someone tried to assault her, and she really believes it's her fault. I'm going to go in a corner and weep now, excuse me.
Flatworm: It's easy. Certain religious fundamentalists are obsessed with "masculinity" and "femininity" in clothing. That's why those women don't wear pants; they view pants as intrinsically masculine (not to mention less modest) and it would be a sin to wear it. Frilly floral dresses are to be preferred (literally). They extend this even to parts of clothing; zippers are "masculine," perhaps because of their association with jeans, and women should wear clothing with buttons instead.
My mom was this way. She desperately tried to get me to do "boy" things, like sports, and she forced my sister to do "girl" things, like figure skating. She was especially obsessed with my sister, who was the youngest, and continually tried to interest her in dolls and (yes) frilly dresses. She wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom who would find a "strong" husband (a pastor, perhaps?) and would cook and homeschool her five kids. Ack.
Suffice to say, neither of us turned out the way that she so desperately wanted us to: My sister (who also reads this site, and will probably have some more choice words for "Wendy") is very much the feminist, a political volunteer, and well on her way to becoming a high-powered attorney, while I'm an artsy gay writer. Go figure.
I have just one question (if this is even true):
Why on earth do these people constantly tell us we're evil, but don't condemn their fellow churchgoers in the same way when they do horrible shit like that? I've never forced myself on anybody like that, and yet *I'm* the evil one. That just...blows my mind.
@Poisoned Rationality
Because you're not part of their tribe. It's just sheer tribalism. That's why they bitch at us for pointing out the fact that many of their 'great leaders' are simply con-men trying to make money off their ignorance. You'd think they'd be glad to have weeded out another false prophet but nooo, he's one of THEM and that makes him better than any of US.
Bollocks! I'm calling bullshit on this.
Do we really believe that your average fundie would dress like that to go to Church? Of course not.
This is nothing more than a sales pitch for the "modest" clothing she sells on her website and it shouldn't be here.
She doesn't scold her fellow men for the same reason of the insane theology that pervades both Calvinism and Evangelism. We're just justified by faith, the only thing you have to do for going to Heaven is accepting Christ as your Lord and Saviour. It doesn't matter if you're a good person, you don't go to Heaven if you don't believe in their particular sect of Christianity. As he did believe, he is excused to do whatever he wants. We're not, so.........
lying slut wanna-be. Too submissive already by half without the fun.
"I'ld be submissive but i can't find a f****ing Dom to show me the ropes...Master me if you got the balls!
Sorry, just can't stand the waste of precious resources.
Poor kid. She's probably round 18, scared of her own shadow, and now terrified of her body and the supposed control she has over men and she'll be branded as a witch for causing him to lust for her. What a mess and he may be secretly enjoying her discomfiture. creep. That brother was no brother. He's a dirty old man and the Goddess'll get him. HAhaHA
I dont mind you making me stumble, and dont feel bad if you think so because..god damn girl you got it going on in all the right places too.
I can also tell you are somewhat intelligent by your litteracy, but you've got to get over that submission tease. At least dont use it so much because it might push people away.
I am hoping that this is a Poe. Even so:
>>I was mortified to cause a brother to stumble.<<
You should be. "Stumbling" is underkill. He should either be thrown across the room, or if your hand-to-hand is not that refined, in so much pain that he can't walk.
"I needed a girdle to get into it, silt(sic) to the knees, skin tight, hose, heels, hair to up there and makeup... see it was in church"
SILT!!
LOL!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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