[On preparing for the rapture]
Well, I can totally agree with your actions. I've been getting regular haircuts in anticipation of the Rapture. I'm not sure if our hair will continue to grow in our glorified bodies, maybe it will? So, just in case I started making sure my hair always looks nice for Jesus. I really do feel like I'm getting ready for a wedding somedays.
45 comments
There are so many people on earth, if Jesus was real, and she thinks he cares about how her hair looks.
I guess at least they have a hobby, right?
Bloody hell, they really do believe this don't they. Down to having the right haircut for meeting Jesus. For goodness sake, you believe you are getting a perfect "glorified" body, so the hair will be perfect, just as Jesus wants, way better than that sinful "earthly" haircut.
Get the fuck outta here. Is she dead serious?
Besides isn't God omnipotent? If he make the Earth flood, rain manna, and give Samson herculean strength, a haircut shouldn't be too hard.
I heard that jebus likes a little man-meat, so, if you're a woman, don't bother trying to look good for him.
This is kind of sad if it's a real concern to them.
If heaven is perfect, they will do haircuts for you if you want them, or if they're compulsory for some reason. Until then, just keep shaping the corners of your head- though if you check your bible for once then you'll see that it says not to.
This "glorified body", even in the best-case scenario, will be no more than a blob of ectoplasm.
How many ghosts do you reckon there are, floating up there in the clouds?
Harlot!
Woman, thy name is Whore of Babylon!
Get thee hence to a place of penitence...
Get thee down on thy knees and beg for forgiveness.
Sup from the cup of wormwood and gall and pray that the lord forgiveth thy transgressions! Beg that the lord shall shoot his wad in thy face, in his mercy and extreme unction, then get thee to a place of isolation and solace, nevermore shall thy countenance be seen amongst the tarrying places of the goat herders and swine menacers.
Wanting to pretty up for Jeebus.... Utter disgrace. Whatever next...
PIOUS HUMILITY
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
Bitch!
I was drinking some very expensive whisky when I read this! There is about $5 worth all over my screen and keyboard.
A few posts later is a priceless comment from CharlotteCow!
I made a left behind packet a few years ago, but I have no idea where it is now. I should definitely print off a new one!
Just sayin', he's been bailing on the wedding for 2,000 years.
Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on
She's forty-one and her daddy still calls 'er "baby"
In her younger days they called her Delta Dawn
Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on
Hey guys, these are the people that made the "The Christian Shoes " song a overplayed turd that corrupts December music.
Fuckin' hate that (by the numbers formula to make gramma cry) approach to music. Don't get me started on that "where were you when them towers fell" career boast crap
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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