The conflicted behaviours of AS; the so-called “cuteness” and then extreme bullying which is noted by Lydia Netzer; are present throughout that person’s life. These behaviours carry into all close relationships.

Autism is not cute in the privacy of their own home. It is tyrannical and controlling; all “cuteness”, charm they display outside the home completely disappears. This is the Jekyll and Hyde described by Prof Tony Attwood. Their prompt dependence is never acknowledged by them, like Lydia’s son has, and when they are helped by a spouse/partner they become angry and they bully and berate that person. Conflict and chaos are what happens when AS is involved.

It would be very helpful if AS adults admit that his/her spouse helps them cope with life.