Tornadoes are not random. They have nothing to do with pressure systems, or hot and cold, or whatever those evil atheist Scientists come up with. Tornadoes are an exact execution of God's will against sinners. How else can you explain whole cities being torn apart and yet one or two houses remain? The answer is simple: God did not think that those houses were sinning. He told the evil occupants to go to the mall so that they could die with the rest of the people. Anyone who survives isn't "lucky," or "smart." They were saved by G*D!
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There was a tornado that affected a city just to the North of mine. Whole areas were decimated. THere was a piece in the paper afterwards about a church that had been totalled. There was also a piece about the lucky people whose homes were completely untouched. I remember laughing about one guy who said that he'd just been released from prison (they didn't say why he was in there).
So, long story short, was god saying that churches are bad and criminals are good?
(Oh, took the bait)
He forgot the bit about God hating Trailer Parks, so ... not-so-obvious Poe. Besides, the evil atheist Scientists are too busy working on a cure for the Fundie sex drive to post a bunch of lies about tornadoes.
Let's look at an example of ANOTHER natural disaster that was supposedly "punishing sin". Hurricane Katrina caused massive flooding of New Orleans, and you know which part was NOT flooded? The French Quarter, the GAYEST PART OF THE CITY.
Tornadoes are not random. They have nothing to do with pressure systems, or hot and cold, or whatever those evil atheist Scientists come up with. Tornadoes are an exact execution of God's will against sinners. How else can you explain whole born again trailer parks torn apart and yet the mosque remain? The answer is simple: Allah did not think that Mosque was sinning. They were saved by *LL*H!
I've been arguing that tornadoes are the Rapture Express. If that hypothetical church were occupied, there would've been some very happy naked corpses downrange.
Also, someone accidentally stepped on GoD and made him go splat.
So by that reasoning we can conclude that not building a tornado shelter must be a sin, since God spares people who hide in one. Though I confess I've never seen that in the Bible. Or maybe God just isn't powerful enough to kill sinners who hide in a shelter. Or maybe it's all those holier-than-thou, hate-filled, judgmental, God-bothering fundamentalists in the Bible Belt that God is annoyed with, rather than the liberals, gays, atheists and abortion doctors in the Northeast.
Obvious Poe, but, it's too much fun, shooting fish in a barrell.
This is why all those tornadoes hit the sinners in the South and Midwest? The Red States?
Tornado Alley=The Bible Belt
Why are all the poe's getting through? I didn't even see this one in admin (which I'm starting to believe has nothing to do with what gets on here).
Hell, maybe I should start posting shit from Pastor Deacon Fred.
Let me see, the houses are better built than the others. Houses, on the other hand, since they don't have soul, CAN'T sin. I think that I pretty much found the answer.
@Xotan: yes, Gasteriskd is the god of regular expressions.
Also, obvious troll, but funny anyway.
Wouldn't a Poe, who successfuly fills the requirements of Fundie-speak still be as valid as the true Fundie-speak?
Isn't the score about HOW true to Fundie the statement is?
Lol, I'm not that great at detecting Poes (I only found this site yesterday, so I wasn't familiar with the term anyway), so I'm glad everyone made it so abundantly clear. I was about to telepathically knock some sense into him. Thanks for preventing an unneeded casualty!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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