I wish God would send me back in time so that I could drown Buddha in the Genghis River. It'd be worth it, because it would prevent him from misleading so many people into atheism.
85 comments
"I'm a friend of Siddhartha Gautama, may I see him please?"
"No, you can't see him, he's teaching disciples."
"I'll be back."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Maybe we should call The Doctor, and have him go back and abort Jesus, so that this abomination called "Christianity" never existed.
What, it makes just as much sense....
Yes, because clearly Buddhism and atheism are exactly the same thing.
Nope, no differences whatsoever.
Well, there are lots of people who think that parts of christian teachings were in fact inspired by buddhism. So maybe by killing Buddha you could alter the whole christian religion or even keep christianity from developing or gaining the influence it has today (so that, after returning to our time you find out that there is no christianity and most of the europeans still believe in the pantheon of the roman empire) ;)
Maybe you should rather got back to the time of Christ, so that Jesus can teach you christian principles.
Of course it might be that you will get very disappointed, if you come to this time and find out that Jesus doesn´t exist or that he is totally different from the guy described in the bible ;)
"Ghengis River"? I'm sorry, but what is this? The only Ghenghis I can think of in Ghengis Khan. I went on to Wikipedia and the closest thing I could find to the Ghengis River was the Ghenghes River. Which is in Romania. I don't think Sidhartha Guatama was ever in Romania.
Maybe MessianicServant ment the Ganges. That's in India at least. And, heck, I went to Varanasi (Benares) once. It's along the Ganges. Deer Park's in Varanasi, so it's a pretty holy place for Buddhists. But not the river itself. (I think, someone correct me if I'm wrong.) I'm pretty sure the river really holds importance for Hindus, not Buddhists.
And not all Buddhists are atheists anyways. Some believe in gods, some don't. And would it really be worth it? The people who are Buddhist now would just belong to some other religion that sprang up around that area. They'd be worshipping some heathen gods instead and they certainly wouldn't suddenly, magically start praising Jesus. So what would it accomplish anyways?
1) Thou shalt not commit murder.
2) If you're worried about "misleading" people into atheism, Buddhism is the LAST thing that you should be concerned about.
"It'd be worth it, because it would prevent him from misleading so many people into atheism. "
So, all atheists are budhists? Also, you can't kill "The One". Even bloody cobra bowed before him.
And you'd go to hell for
A) Murder
B) Defying God's will (If God wanted Buddha drowned and his religion squashed, he'd do it himself)
and C) Fucking Witchcraft.
Everyone know about the "Hitler Time Travel Exemption Act", which says that you can't go back in time and kill Hitler? Well, I propose a "Religious Figure Time Travel Exemption Act", just because of how screwed the world could end up being.
WMD Kitty - Nooo, that makes even less sense! The Doctor wouldn't want to kill anyone, and he'd probably wind up landing 30 years too late and then just sit around chatting with him over a glass of wine.
Of course, he would find out that all the miracles were due to alien tech or similar explanation. And Jack Harkness would turn out to be Lazarus.
Of all the things that could be accomplished by time travel -- even in support of your own set of mythologies -- you choose to kill someone?
How about going back and, you know, getting a recording of one of Jesus's sermons or something? Or the resurrection?
He isn't all that wrong about Buddhism and atheism, actually. Buddhism is mostly considered a way of life, and not a religion, by its own followers. A lot of Buddhists believe in the Hindu gods, in places like Nepal, and there are even Christian Buddhists (though they're not fully compatible). But most Buddhists don't believe in any god, and could be reasonably considered to be atheists.
Yes, I would expect your killer monster of a God to involve His adherents in murderous sorties of the type you mention, were He to exist in the first place. Lucky, then, that He doesn't exist, as He'd serve as a rallying point for all the savage and aggressive morons that exist today and want legitimacy and justification for their disturbed minds.
Oh! What's that you say? You only need to pretend or to fantasize that He exists because reality is not really necessary? And that that would be sufficient to justify your violent tendencies? Oh! OK.
Thou shalt not kill. Ring a bell?
Aren't you confusing Geinghis Khan, the ruler of the Mongol Empire, with the River Ganges?
Or is Genghis an alternative spelling of said river?
Murder for gawd is still murder, genius. And what makes you so damn sure that when you got back from your little killing spree, everyone in the 21st century who would have been Buddhist, would instead be worshiping your pathetic deity?
@ AuraTwilight
(If God wanted Buddha drowned and his religion squashed, he'd do it himself)
He's such a weak suck, he "needs" his xtian lackeys to help. He may just as soon find some perennial fuck-up from a tiny backward village, say like Jonah, and send him on a fool's errand that he's incapapble of - or - with his famous aim, he tries it himself and wipes out New Orleans, a couple milennia late.
"Oopsy. My bad." ____________God
I wish god would send Messy back in time so he could wander the earth with a lantern forever, searching for the Genghis River.
@ WMDKitty
That would explain one hell of a lot. Although, other than the few renegades, the Time Lords were mostly a non-interventionist lot who didn't mess around in the affairs of primitive species like us...
But Jesus being a member of an advanced alien race is definitely a possibility. Or... The Doctor himself is Jesus! That would explain everything.
I'm totally starting a new religion now.
meh, he's just one of our local trolls here to get our goats.
Do you people really think the Buddha would be telling him to die in a fire? And yes, I am an atheist Buddhist.
"Maybe we should call The Doctor, and have him go back and abort Jesus, so that this abomination called "Christianity" never existed. "
Brutally enough, all you'd have to do is whisper in Joseph's ear that he should do what the book of Exodus says is to be done to women who have broken their marriage vows...
industrial concentration of FAIL!
It is Hindus, not Buddhists, who get baptized in the Ganges River, not the Genghis River.
Well, if your god had any major problem with that Buddha and his cult, he would have intervened himself when it was the right time, don't you find?
Such a short statement, yet so full of fail.
1) God doesn't exist
2) It's the Ganges River, not the Genghis River
3) Buddha led people to BUDDHISM. Not ATHEISM. They are VASTLY DIFFERENT, in that ONE IS A RELIGION.
man, I wish god did send you back in time, just so that we didn´t have to deal with all your hate in the present and future, maybe ask him to send you back to the time dinosaurs roamed the earth, >I´d love to see you trying to explain creation there....
Buddhism is a part of atheist thinking. If someone believe in a theistic view on life, they probably will not be Buddhist, as Buddha is not a god, and they are not worshiping any being by practicing it. That doesn't make this quote any less fundy bullshit, just pointing out the distinction.
Or, God could have not created Buddha in the first place and avoided the bother of creating a time machine so you could commit the necessary evil of murder.
Of course, I could say that God wouldn't want anyone to murder anyone else because I read it in this book that a lot of people recommend reading, but that same book also talks about lots of people killing others for God. So God probably would approve of killing. But his lack of foreknowlege that this person would "mislead so many people into atheism" doesn't speak well for his omniscience.
And is Genghis River any relation to Genghis Khan?
@WMDKitty
If you want to prevent Christianity, leave Jesus alone, Just go after Paul, Peter, John...
Genghis... GENGHIS?! hold up, Siddhartha never lived near the GANGES river, and Genghis Khan of MONGOLIA lived almost 1600 years after Buddha. History, Geography, and common sense fail! What a scoop!
Yeah, well MessyanusServant, good luck in your wish coming to pass. If wishes were currency, you'd be homeless and starving.
...oh, and once science develops time travel, on the list of the names of those to be eliminated (Hitler being drowned at birth would be the 'killer app' for such; pun may or may not be intended) would be yours .
It'd be worth it, because it would prevent MessyanusServant from polluting our clean, sacred, Atheist world, via him misleading so many people into fundieism.
First of all, i's the Ganges River.
Secondly, the Ganges is in India. Buddha was Tibetan.
Thirdly, your gawd, who went out of his way to tell you not to kill, would not send you back in time to kill.
Fourth, Buddha did not invent atheism. Buddhism is not atheism. You know nothing of either.
Fifth, there is an old tenet that says, if on the road, you meet Buddha, kill him, for he is false and the true Buddha is within you. You won't understand that, 'cuz Jeebus and NASCAR aren't mentioned, but Buddha would probably let you drown him.
Then he'd come back as your flaming gay son. Who later converts to Buddhism. Oh, the irony!
If I could go back in time, I would not let Jesus get crucified, so he could live a normal life, get married, have kids, have his own designer furniture shop, and maybe actually publish his own Bible. It would be worth it, because it could prevent his retarded apostles from misleading so many people into child molestation.
>>Kuyohashi
First of all, i's the Ganges River.
Secondly, the Ganges is in India. Buddha was Tibetan.<<
No, Siddhartha Gautama was not Tibetan. He was born in either what we would call north-eastern India or Nepal (I refer you to the Wikipedia article for details on the disputes about the exact location). This is an important distinction - if nothing else, it explains why the oldest Buddhist scriptures are in Pali and Sanskrit rather than whatever Proto-Tibeto-Burman actually sounded like.
This does not lessen MessianicServant's fail in any way.
I wish God would send me back in time so that I could drown Buddha in the Genghis River. It'd be worth it, because it would prevent him from misleading so many people into atheism.
If only God was as clever as "MessianicServant", he would have never allowed Buddha to be born in the first place. I bet God sighed a big sigh of relief when "MessianicServant" was born, because God knew that now, everything's gonna be alright. Because now, "MessianicServant" is here to help God correct all his many mistakes.
'And why not say (as we are slanderously reported and as some claim that we say ), "Let us do evil that good may come "? Their condemnation is just.'
Romans 3:8 (new american standard)
Your move.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.