Homosexuality is an innate attraction. BDSM is an attraction forged by social pressures. They are inherently different. I'll admit, I've been practicing BDSM as long as I've been sexually active, and still do. I can say as someone who still partakes, it is ABSOLUTELY a mirror of fucked up attitudes towards gender roles and power imbalances.

It takes something frightening or taboo and makes it rewarding. BUT self-medication is self-medication and is usually not the best way to address issues. I know all this, but I still do it. The only thing I'd say in defense of doms is that most of the ones I've known are as likely to be abuse victims looking to fix the betrayal of a loved one abusing them, as people who are wired to want to hurt others.

I wouldn't say it is good or healthy, especially now that it's become so mainstream you don't even get the thoughtful examination of why we engage in potentially harmful practices. It's a lot like trans in a way- gender roles and the patriarchy have harmed you, but here's something you can do to recontextualize it as rewarding. So TLDR, it's not the same as homosexuality, and being judgemental is a good thing!