Mr. Coulter #fundie godorscience.com

[Fundies intelligent take on Steven Hawking's recent comments]

This just in from the slobbering genious:

*slobber**slobber*[insert R2D2 voice modulator]*slobber*"People of earth,*slobber*, I am worried,*slobber*, that earth's temperature will rise to 250 degrees,*slobber*, and rain sulphuric acid,*slobber*[now insert the customary burps and whistles, not of R2D2 overkill, but because the moisture from all the slobber has penetrated the voice modulator]*slobber,slobber,slobber*This as it is so on Venus,*slobber*dont ask me why I correlate,*slobber*, for there are no civilizations on Venus,*slobber*to create a global warming there,*slobber*just believe me,*slobber*, for I am a genious,*slobber*"

*slobber**slobber**slobber*"Might I add,*slobber**slobber*, I [now he begins to blow into the tube(as slobber flies profusely between his lips and steering tube) that steers his wheelchair. He slowly, but methodically, manueveres his throne/toity as a smoke trail developes what looks to be an obtuse and crooked heart, yes, it is definately a HEART!,aww that genious Dr.Hawkings] China.*slobber*slobber*[faintly and ever so quietly insert a high pitched fart, as he leeringly gazes at the young porceline 20 something beauty standing next to him] *slobber*Especially, the women.*slobber*

[Now picture an obviously creeped out and uncomfortable young woman as she desperately tries to laugh off her outwardly disturbed expresions] "I,I,I find Docker Hauching to be veddy, ha-ha-ha [nervously sweating and laughing] aaah how you say, woonique. Dare is no won in worl like he. He stron spiwit."

Dr. Hawkings listens with a slight humility as he eats some rice(for chinese food is his favorite). As he shows another of his innumerous gifted abilities, eating without chopsticks, or silverware for that matter. He just lobs his head into the bowl, and scoops it in. The audience applauds! As the Chinese beauty finishes her "speech", the brilliant Dr. Hawkings acknowledges the praise, as rice rains off his chin. He gives the beauty a sloooooooooow and very lazy-esque wink with a simultaneous slobber. The Chinese audience roars into a rock star ovation. Hawking acknowleges the crowd with a catatonic stare as his voice modulator cracks the the cry of feedback. The beauty scurries off the stage and is heard saying she smelt stale urine.

Tune in for the next episode.

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