Recently I felt my heart open up toward my son, but I started to think maybe I should try using his new name. After discussing with my therapist, I realized that once again I was taking on responsibility and trying to fix it. My son is 29 and started this at 25 - so he’s an adult and while he is probably delusional, I can’t change how he thinks about this. I can however, work on keeping my heart open and loving him from afar. I can practice compassion toward him, toward myself, and toward everyone caught up or affected by transgenderism.

I have observed that it seems the majority of those who are keeping contact are doing so for financial reasons. My son broke all financial ties before coming out. Therefore, he had nothing financially to lose by going no contact. This may sound harsh, but I think it’s the cold hard reality for many.

I stand here in the light, ready to help my son. But helping is not reinforcing the delusion or doing anything to make it easier for him to live this lifestyle. I look at it like enabling an alcoholic - I can’t control an adult’s drinking but I sure as hell can control not buying him booze.