I've never heard so much disgraceful music as I've heard on the radio this year at Christmas time. It's sickening. Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat, others are sang by known homosexuals, some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying. There's songs about wanting front teeth back for Christmas, going on a sleigh ride...anything to remove Jesus Christ from the minds of people. It's so sad. It's like a broken tooth and a foot out of joint to hear the despicable Dolly Parton singing Christmas carols. In 1982 Dolly starred in a vile movie, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. The movie is still highly sought by perverts today. Do you know what the movie is all about? It is about a town Sheriff and regular patrons of the whorehouse, fighting to keep the whorehouse open when a TV preacher targets it as the Devils playhouse. And you listen to her hypocritical Christmas music. Dolly just re-recorded an old Led Zeppelin song, Stairway to Heaven. Then there's Johnny Cash's Christmas album. Did you know he re-recorded two songs by Glenn Danzig, a known Satanist? Glenn Danzig, spewing his hatred for the Lord Jesus Christ, proudly designed a logo for the band — a demon strangling Jesus Christ with blood gushing from Jesus' eyes! I'm not trying to be unkind; I'm just being honest when I tell you that Satan is getting into everything nowadays. No Christ-honoring Christian should listen to the music of Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash, or any other entertainer who promotes Satan.
86 comments
And don't forgot those heathens, The Bangles, commanding us to 'walk like egyptians' (why would we want to emulate those filthy creatures that enslaved our people?), and their blasphemous talk of sunday being a 'fun day'. How dare they mock the sabbath!
You're right! Festive songs have no place in a celebration of a deity's birthday! The only Christmas carols allowed should be somber religious tunes, like "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming" and "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence." Those upbeat tunes like "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and "Joy to the World" are just so un-Christian!
David needs to pull the stick out of his ass--he's coughing up splinters now.
David, how do you know it was a vile movie? Have you been attending the cinema dressed in a mackintosh, and sitting in the back row hoping for a young man to sit next to you??? Or are you just watching it on the VCR waiting for saucy bits?
I've never seen it, so I am wondering how come you know so much more about it than I do.
Also, I don't find Ms. Parton half as evil as you.
Anyone who'd get a stiffy from "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" would have to be a pervert!
Something you want to tell us, Mr Stewart?
Is this all David can do? Rant about how much he hates everything. Hey David, quit taking Lewis Black's personality, he's better at it, and alot funnier.
Ah... good ole' DJS, the holidays, or any other time for that matter, just isn't the same without you. Well, I'll look at the bright side, at least he's stopped drooling and/or raging in self-contempt over child stars.
"others are sang by known homosexuals,"
Homos singing christmas songs are part of the war on christmas.
Yeah... Best Little Whorehouse in Texas isn't actually a porno. Like Dr. Venture, if you watch it hoping to get off, you'll be rather disappointed.
Has this guy really never heard secular holiday music before? 9__9
@ John the Atheist:
"That being said I think you could make a case for stating that Dolly Parton shoudln't sing xmas carols because she has huge tits that I'm sure the lord despises."
Are you kidding? Who do you think gave them to her?
AND I JUST WANNA PRAISE HIM FOR IT!
@ John the Atheist:
"That being said I think you could make a case for stating that Dolly Parton shoudln't sing xmas carols because she has huge tits that I'm sure the lord despises."
Are you kidding? Who do you think gave them to her?
AND I JUST WANNA PRAISE HIM FOR IT!
Ho hum. Another day, another female singer being condemned by David J. Stewart.
If he weren't so funny, it would be tedious.
<i>That reminds me of the venture brothers episode where doctor venture rents the "best little whorehouse in texas," in hopes to see dolly partons tits. Only to be dissapointed in the end. </i>
I loved that episode. Is it even a dirty movie? Actually dirty, not fundie 'anything that doesnt kiss my, er, jesus' ass is sick and wrong' dirty.
<i>That reminds me of the venture brothers episode where doctor venture rents the "best little whorehouse in texas," in hopes to see dolly partons tits. Only to be dissapointed in the end. </i>
I loved that episode. Is it even a dirty movie? Actually dirty, not fundie 'anything that doesnt kiss my, er, jesus' ass is sick and wrong' dirty.
<i>That reminds me of the venture brothers episode where doctor venture rents the "best little whorehouse in texas," in hopes to see dolly partons tits. Only to be dissapointed in the end. </i>
I loved that episode. Is i even a dirty movie? Actually dirty, not fundie 'anything that doesnt kiss my, er, jesus' ass is sick and wrong' dirty.
See, that's the great thing about living in a free society; you can celebrate Christmas any way you want or not at all, and hate-filled barf-bags like ol' David J can't do anything about it except rant and rave.
OK, that's it. This guy cannot be the real thing. Dolly Parton performing Stairway to Heaven? Getouttahere! And don't mess with the Man in Black. What's next? Ozzy Ozborne cutting a Christmas album? Actually, it might be pretty funny.
@Skyknight : didn't read far enough so I just saw your post. I was hoping DJS was a fake but I'm stunned people like this walk the earth. And post.
@Skynight:
That is convincing evidence he's not a Poe, although I still have a glimmer of a hope that he is one. After all, David John Stewart may have turned away from fundamentalism after he got the degree.
BTW, this is probably the only page he has on America where he isn't criticizing it.
Come to think of it, lets just not listen to anything at all.
Lets just sit here - at least, until Dave decides sitting is satanic.
I've found out his other ideas of exemplars (http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Great%20Men%20of%20God/great_men_of_god.htm )Billy Sunday, Dwight L. Moody, John R. Rice, Dr. Lee Roberson, and Lester Roloff. Jack Hyles heads off the list (understandable, considering Stewart's alma mater), but I'm curious if there's anything we should know about this lot. I've heard plenty about Hyles as it is...
Dolly Parton would never promote Satan, and her music is good, OK?
Also: THE TV PREACHER WAS THE BAD GUY, MORON.
Christmas music is of the devil. Not because it's Satan-approved, but because 99% of it is fucking awful (except for the Christmas songs Belle and Sebastian did and the South Park Christmas songs).
Also, I'm going to add that DJS has some very, very pent-up sexual frustration.
I've never heard so much disgraceful music as I've heard on the radio this year at Christmas time
I know, it is just the same songs over and over...
Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat
It is like they are up to date. How dare they
others are sang by known homosexuals
Because they are the one with the best voices, apparently.
some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying
Yes, e v e r y t h i n g should be as loooooooooooong as possible
There's songs about wanting front teeth back for Christmas, going on a sleigh ride
I thought your jesus character could perform miracles
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. The movie is still highly sought by perverts today
NO! citation needed. There is better porn out there. There is always better porn. Always.
or any other entertainer who promotes Satan.
The only pure is apparently you, jesus and god. When are your album coming out? Can we expect any duets?
"And Johnny Cash recorded a couple of Trent Reznor's songs, not Danzig's."
He recorded "Thirteen", which Danzig wrote but Johnny Cash originally performed. Danzig did his own version of the song a few years later.
But we can both agree this guy's a douche.
Hey, Johnny may not have been a saint by any stretch of the imagination , but i bet he did more for his fellow man than this... person ever did. I doubt DJS provides free concerts for prisoners in his spare time
Oh, and the best little whorehouse in texas? it's a musical, not a porno. It was nominated for an Oscar!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083642/
Hey, Johnny may not have been a saint by any stretch of the imagination , but i bet he did more for his fellow man than this... person ever did. I doubt DJS provides free concerts for prisoners in his spare time
"Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat, others are sang by known homosexuals, some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying."
This deserves the Arson, Murder & Jaywalking award.
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas doesn't actually contain any whoring on screen. Perverts would be completely bored and disappointed with that movie, stupid.
Jesus, if he ever existed at all, was NOT born in December. It was just moved there when they wanted to convert the northerners who celebrated the Winter Solstice.
Promoting something is to state, time and time again, that something is GOOD. It does not mean refraining from saying that something is bad.
"Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat". One, why is that bad, two. what does that even mean?
"others are sang by known homosexuals" Go to hell.
"some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying." ...I got nothin'.
"Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat,"
So?
"others are sang by known homosexuals,"
So? It's not like the Christmas song is promoting homosexuality.
"some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying."
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G, song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G, song!
And if you don't think that you can sing it faster, then you're wrong,
But it'll help if you just sing aloooong!
You can go back to the fourties and check favorite Christmas songs and find most them, every year are not religious.
Stop it Dave, you're such a liar.
"I've never heard so much disgraceful music as I've heard on the radio this year at Christmas time. It's sickening. Many Christmas songs have a rock music beat, others are sang by known homosexuals, some songs are sang so fast that it's utterly annoying. There's songs about wanting front teeth back for Christmas, going on a sleigh ride...anything to remove Jesus Christ from the minds of people."
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It's so sad indeed, Davey-boy; novelty records such as the above being released: in the 1960s.
You're slipping, Davey-boy. But listening to certain records should calm your inflamed tits (not Dolly's, perish the thought!): such as "Rock and Roll Christmas" and "Two Little Boys". By Gary Glitter and Rolf Harris respectively.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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