I honestly don't get Reddit's new obsession with making fun of girls who ship men. Although I guess it's not surprising that these examples are heavily exaggerated in order to push a narrative, considering y'know (Reddit's new obsession with making fun of girls) in general.
Queerbaiting is actually a thing that exists, and nobody in their right mind actually thinks that someone who is uncomfortable with sexual harassment is homophobic. What's homophobic (and definitely misogynistic) is the new trend of mocking teenage girls who ship men and read fanfiction when it's the same exact guys who masturbate to lesbian porn.
The examples of "would two guys who are just...." actually brings up a completely valid point, in that homoeroticism is never assumed, because it's just not possibly seen in the eye of mostly heterosexual men. They don't like it, and don't want to consider the possibility. They just can't be gay, it's just male friendship. The problem is that it's not acceptable for them to be gay together, hence the reactionary defense of "why can't men just be friends", and the assumption that they think every male friendship has homoerotic subtones. You'll never see as many people defending "Why can't it just be friendship" when romantic subtext is assumed between a guy and a girl as the excessiv amount of people getting upset over two characters in a mostly heterosexual cast being gay in a non-cannon fanfiction. In fact, it's a tired trope in media that the if there are male and female leads, they'll end up together if it started with friendship. Yet, it's completely valid and a celebrated trope, and some media just throw in a completely irrelevant love interest just to keep things hetero (Sharon Carter, Captain America Civil War), instead of building upon the already intimate relationship that would have definitely occurred had it been hetero.
You're creating a massive false equivalency.
There are far more heterosexuals than homosexuals. Both the man and the women in these cases are presenting as heterosexuals. Friendships between Men and Women are less typical than same sex friendships and often end up with some boundary being pushed. Vs two men presenting as heterosexual. Who are essentially lying to themselves and the audience through whatever means of narattion they're being presented in secretly being gay for each other.
One is a pretty common occurrence in life. One is incredibly rare.