I have had many horrible things happen to me in life, and have been in Job's shoes. Job's wife never abandoned him, nor was she taken from him by death; but I have not had the companionship of a faithful wife since 2006, when she divorced me against my will. When I hear a man praise his wife in a church, I have to leave the room, because I am heart-broken, being alone all these years. I have forgiven her, but she still blames me for everything. That's okay, God is our only Judge (James 4:12). When Job's calamity ended, God restored to him double of everything he lost. I lost my home after the divorce, and have rented since, and will likely never own my own home again (and if I do, it won't be anything like the large home I once owned). Psalms 145:21, “My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.”

My neck injury is permanent and I will suffer in constant toothache-like neck pain (stenosis, radiculopathy and displaced disks) for the rest of my survival on earth. I cannot express in words the misery I endure in constant neck pain. Since it is right next to my head, it cannot be ignored. So, in many ways, Job had it made, because his suffering ended, and he was restored double. Job's painful boils from head to toe were all healed. His health was restored. I will never regain my full health. Job never lost the companionship of his wife when life caved in upon him, although she discouraged him (because she was discouraged too). I don't feel sorry for myself, nor do I feel sorry for Job. Job is not my hero. It is hard for me to feel sympathy for people who suffer, because I have suffered so much myself. I can relate to their suffering, and help them, but I do not feel sorry for them. I have suffered through more things than I can remember. Psalms 145:21, “My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.”

I know what inexplicable lasting pain of soul feels like, lasting years, with no one to help me back up. I have even reached out to Baptist churches on Guam for help, who left me for dead and couldn't have cared less about me, such as Harvest Baptist Church on Guam (whose pastor in 2014 compelled me to leave and in 2017 told me I couldn't come back) and Agana Heights Baptist Church (whose pastor in 2009 was mean to me and didn't want me in his church because of hateful slander he had heard about me) and Lighthouse Baptist Church (whose pastor in 2018 got angry at me for exposing corruptible seed and the Bob Jones Alexandrian cult). A fool would say that I must be at fault, since there are multiple churches that don't want me; but God knows the truth is that I am more righteous than all of them! They are the self-righteous hypocrites! They are the one's (all of them) promoting or bidding Godspeed to corruptible seed. They are the ones who tolerate Satan's counterfeit Bible versions, tolerate and promote John MacArthur, and are indifferent toward truth. They are the bastards, not me! I don't have a problem with pastors, they all have a problem with me!!! GOD KNOWS THAT I AM PURE OF HEART!!!!!!!