“A few people in the audience thought I’d get through this introduction without talking about spirit cooking. But come on!” announced MILO. “The right wing of America is caught up in another Satanic panic. The difference is, this time it’s real! We’ve seen the emails!”

“Spirit cooking is some kind of occult practice involving blood, semen, spit, and a variety of other bodily substances. I had no clue it could be a ritual, I call that date night! Maybe I’ve been using them in the wrong order” he continued. “I know a thing or two about black magic, you know. The ancient spirits of Africa flow through me. Regularly.”

“I’ve believed for months that Hillary Clinton sold her soul to Saudi Arabia. I had no idea she sold her soul to the devil” Milo joked. “We shouldn’t be surprised. Lesbians and witchcraft go together like Donald Trump and winning!”

Milo continued with his Satanic references, adding “How many electoral votes does Hell get? I thought I understood the electoral college, is there a loophole I don’t know? I assume she has Saul Alinsky down there organizing the community to vote for her. After all in states without Voter ID, when Ashtaroth and Beelzebub the Lord of Flies show up to vote, what election official is going to tell them no?”

“If you want a great example of media bias, imagine if the Trump campaign was participating in satanic rituals involving blood and semen” he concluded. “The closest thing Donald Trump has to an occult ritual is eating fried chicken with a knife and fork.”