The U.S. Constitution: No, not really, though I do find it flawed.
Liberty: Fuck no! Liberty is good.
Freedom: See previous.
Success: No...
Big Trucks: Maybe not the most sensible thing, but they have a place and utility, again no.
Capitalism: Nope, it's better than the alternative.
Free Markets: See previous.
Wealthy People: Nah, but more taxes on the 1% could benefit the general population.
Economic Prosperity: Look up some goddamn stats sometime.
The Rule of Law: Wtf?
Traditional Values: Yeah, social conservatives are trash.
The American Flag: It's a goddamn flag! Who is petty enough to hate a flag?
The Founding Fathers: I am indifferent. They were flawed people with some solid ideas.
Guns: Not a fan, but they do have a place.
Limited Government: Eh, regulation has a place, but not accross the board. Give this one a partial.
Religious Freedom: Nah, be an idiot on your own. Please don't vote though (I feel like you still will).
Homeschooling: Maybe not ideal, but it can be good if you're super anxious or in a bad district.
Private Schools: Kind of broken as they stand now, but could probably be fixed if there were widely accepted accredation bodies at the high school level.
Christian Schools: Yeah, I had to go through one. They suck.
Entrepreneurs: I guess I hate myself then!/s
Ronald Reagan: Not the worst president, but nowhere near the best.
Donald Trump: Yeah fuck that guy.
Mike Pence: Also fuck this guy.
Country Music: Depends on era; 1920s-1980s? Pretty damn good. 1980s-Present. Yeah, it sucks.
Rush Limbaugh: Fuck that guy too.
The Tea Party: Yeah, they are idiots.
Lower Taxes: Depends on the tax.
Old-Fashioned Light Bulbs: What do you have against more efficient, cleaner lighting?
Jesus: 90% of Jesus is stories that were already being told about Osiris, Krishna, and Zoroaster, and I don't hold much against them, so I guess no.
The Bible: It is kind of a shitty book (I have read it all).
The Christian Faith: Mostly evangelicals, I certianly don't hate my reasonable mainline protestant mother.
The Drudge Report: Never read it, seems to be a right wing hate rag, I'll assume yes.
John Wayne: Old cowboy movies are dope.
Alex Jones: Yeah, fuck this guy, except for the occasional dank memes his idiocy spawns.
NASCAR: Formula 1>NASCAR.
Tupperware: Do you think liberals just let our food spoil?
Big Cheeseburgers: Fuck no, I love me a big juicy burger!
Football: Eh, I prefer hockey.
Clint Eastwood: See John Wayne.
The Army: Nah, hegemony is a good thing.
The Navy: See previous, and same applies to marines and air force.
The Marines
The Air Force
Ron Paul: Honestly I don't care.
Rand Paul: See previous.
Marriage: Tbh, it's a good way to legally expand family for those close to you. In fact, I wish that it was possible to do the same in platonic contexts (eg two biologically unrelated people recognizing each other as siblings, due to a strong familial bond).
Family: See previous.
Babies: Not for me, but you have to continue the species.
Wal-Mart: Trashy, but convenient, I call it a tossup.
Flag Pins: See American flag.
Steakhouses: Fuck no, I love me some steak.
Chuck Norris: We get it, you were in middle school 10 years ago and still think those jokes are funny.
Bottled Water: Honestly, tap water is just better.
George Washington: See founding fathers.
The 1st Amendment: Fuck no.
The 2nd Amendment: Kind of, but it's a little late to get rid of now.
The 10th Amendment: Eh. Though I assume you're still salty about Obergefell v. Hodges, so for what you think the 10th Amendment is, I'll go with yes.
The Pledge of Allegiance: Only the 'under god' part
McDonald’s: They kinda suck...
Coca-Cola: There's better soda out there, I buy the niche stuff mostly.
Fried Food: Love fried food.
Muscle Cars: Depends on the car, but I can dig.
Charlie Daniels: See country music.
Dolly Parton: Again, see country Music.
Duck Dynasty: Yeah fuck those guys.
Johnny Cash: What? He was the man!
Sarah Palin: Good for a laugh I suppose.
Cheesesteaks: They are tasty.
Sean Hannity: Yeah fuck that guy.
Rodeos: Good for occasional jokes about whether it's my 'first rodeo,' but other than that, I don't care.
Cadillacs: Some of them are nice.
Barbie Dolls: Again, don't care at all.
Ted Cruz: Yeah fuck that guy.
Fiscal Sanity: No, you hate that.
Charlton Heston: Don't care.
Israel: There's plenty good about Israel, but they need to do much better regarding the plight of Palestinians.
Benjamin Netanyahu: He's not the leader to do that re:Israel, so somewhat yes.
Miners: Not individual miners, but they need to move on, coal is dead, long live wind, sun, water, and nuclear.
Loggers: Not as long as the trees are downed at a sustainible pace.
The Coal Industry: Yeah kind of.
National Sovereignty: Again, kind of.
National Borders: See previous.
Uncle Sam: Wtf?
The Washington Redskins: Maybe a little, but there's much worse to be worried about.
Small Businesses: See Entrepreneurs.
Self-Employment: See Entrepreneurs again.
Harley-Davidson Motorcycles: Eh, don't really care for motorcycles.
Military Veterans: Who's cutting veteran benefits again?
The Phrase “Islamic Terror”: Eh, I find the whole wording controversy thing a bit silly.
Big Families: Quiverfulls are shitty for other reasons besides having big families.
The Bible Belt: Well kind of, Tennessee and Georgia I have a soft spot for.
The Creation Museum: Yeah.
The 10 Commandments: Eh. Civic values are better anyway.
Anyone That Is Pro-Life: Not individual pro lifers, but the pro life movement is built on blatant intellectual dishonesty.
Anyone Who Disagrees With Them: Do we disagree on something like food or on basic tenents of human rights?
Hard Work: No.
Patriotism: No.
Winning: You know Trump has effectively lost over 10 billion dollars over his life, right?
The Truth: Remind me, which party hawks 'alternative facts' again?
The American People: No, fuck you.
