Secular UFOlogists have concluded that the "aliens' behave much like the demons of the Bible.
Also, there have been attempted abductions that have been stopped because of the abductee calls out the name of Jesus.
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Alien 1: "Let's take this guy"
Alien 2: "Yeah alright."
Fundy: "Save me jeebus [insert ranting and frothing at the mouth here]!!!!!"
Alien 1: "Holy shit. This guy is sick or fucked up or on something. Who knows what sort of crazy shit this thing has?"
Alien 2: "Yeah, I don't really feel like catching any crazy today... lets go back to cows."
Alien 1: "Yeah, fuck this crazy arsehole."
UFOlogists are most often crackpots who draws hasty conclusions based on shady or lacking evidence.
I would not put any weight on what they say, much less when they talk about "aliens". As much as I'd love for aliens to be real, we have no evidence to show that there are any aliens, much less that they ever have visited this planet.
"Secular UFOlogists have concluded that the "aliens' behave much like the demons of the Bible."
There is no part of that sentence that isn't hilarious.
"there have been attempted abductions that have been stopped because of the abductee calls out the name of Jesus"
And the ridiculousness just keeps on coming...
translation-My delusion is more true then your delusion.
Really, at least with aliens we can prove there are other planets in space. Aliens at least are theoreticly possible. How many paralel universes like Hell or Heaven have we discovered?
Actually, they act more like wildlife trackers.
UFO Abduction:
Alien flies around until it finds a lone human.
Shoots human with paralysis ray, incapacitating him.
Alien brings human into UFO and and examines human while paralyzed (the human, not the alien).
Alien implants tracking nodule in base of human's neck,
Alien places human back on the ground and flies off.
Human wakes up, confused, then goes back to town, telling wild stories of some mysterious creature who paralyzed him, brought him into a UFO, and did weird things to him.
Wildlife Tracker:
Drives around until finds a deer.
Shoot deer with tranquilizer. Deer falls unconscious.
Tracker brings the deer into the truck and examines it while sedated (the deer, not him).
Tracker sticks a tag in deer's ear.
Tracker puts deer back on the ground and drives off.
Deer wakes up, confused, then goes back to the herd, telling wild stories of some mysterious animal that knocked it out from a distance, then did weird things to it.
"because of the abductee calls out the name of Jesus."
I heard waking up helps a lot too.
Also, screaming probably will wake you up.
Man, the UFO nuts make this kind of stuff look insane enough as it is, but the fundies manage to take it to a new level. Demons pretending to be aliens, so they can abduct people and experiment on them... wacky.
One time when I was abducted by aliens, they were just about to probe my anus, when I cried out, can't you probe the ass of an athiest, and they answered back, no because they always enjoy it. ROFL!!!!!
I once said to my wife, "UFO nuts postulate aliens who possess a technology we can't even imagine ... a technology that has solved the problem of interstellar flight. And what do they do when they arrive here? They make geometric shapes in corn fields, mutilate farm animals, and perform anal probes on delusional people. How can anyone explain that?" She said, "Maybe they're teenagers."
Well, if you're talking about the Vanguards...I could see the whole demonic thing.
But... This one still thinks you are filled with shit, more vile than a RankBeast. Hrr...
My secular friends have concluded that your "god" behaves much like the Satan of the Bible, or worse.
Also, there have been attempted abductions that have been stopped because of the abductee calls out the name of Jesus.
Kang: "Let's probe this one."
Kodo: "OK, let's find the anus."
YSM: "EEeeeek! Help me Jeeebus!"
Kang: "Oops, too late."
Kodo: "Yesssss, this one is all anus."
Kang & Kodo: "Har har harrr. Har har harrr."
I woke up one night with a nasty cramp. "Ow, JEEzus!" I yelled. Suddenly I realized - there were no aliens in the room. Praise be his sweet name!
Hm. I admit I can only remember one story from the bible about demons. (Is there even more than that one?) And that’s the one about the demon(s) calling themselves “Legion”. They get exorcised and put into a herd of pigs, if memory serves.
I fail to see the similarities to alien abduction stories.
Well, these stupid "ancient astronauts" shows have been connecting scripture to UFO reports and artifacts but that's because fundamentalists don't really read their Bibles and you can insert anything into their dogma.
Fact. Alien Abduction reports considerably higher,,,in the Bible Belt.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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