Meet Mrs. Jones...
Mrs. Jones is a sweet elderly lady, now confined to a wheel chair. You would be glad to have her as your next door neighbour. In the above picture, Mrs. Jones, is seen having just convinced the unsuspecting nurse that Jesus Christ was a myth. But Mrs. Jones is at her best when she gives out her home baked treats to the neighbourhood children, as she teaches them that Jesus Christ never lived. You see, Mrs. Jones is an atheist! She is also one of millions of antichrists living in the world today.
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So atheists can be nice, normal people, but you still have to *watch out* because they're big bad atheists!
Oh.
Also I'm pretty sure an atheist would just say they don't follow any religion, not "there never was no Jesus, bwahahaha!"
"Meet Darryl Prudd...
Mr. Prudd is a good ol' boy, driving an F-150. You would be glad to have him as your next door neighbor. In the above picture, Mr. Prudd, is seen having just convinced the unsuspecting neighbor that Jesus Christ was real. But Mr. Prudd is at his best when he gives out his long-necks and Jack-shots to the white, neighborhood rednecks, as he teaches them that Jesus Christ is gonna save 'em from tornadoes and floods and give 'em $17 an hour jobs at the new Honda plant so they can quit their $8 an hour jobs at the feedlot. You see, Mr. Prudd is a Christian Protestant fundie! He is also one of millions of antichrists living in the world today."
There. Fixed.
@D Laurier
"Mrs Jones doesn't molest choirboys.
And that is why she is one of the millions of ANTICHRISTS living today.
I swear, if I live to be a thousand years old, I will still not comprehend fundies and their mental gymnastics.
You see, Mrs. Jones was a strange sort. She wouldn't give out bible tracts to kiddies, telling them that they're destined for an eternal hell by a wrathful god who loves them. She had a much more sinister plan. She would feed them baked goods out of the kindness of her heart along with a spoonful of what she believes. That my friends, is the epitome of evil.
"I'm sorry, but anyone that wants to harm kindly old ladies who make cookies deserves to be beaten to death with an acid-drenched mace and that includes your god."
No no no no, see, this nice old lady wasn't always an old lady! She used to be a young lady, who had sex and enjoyed it!!! Got can see past the wrinkles and recognise the sinful temptress who probably drew poor honest men to sin! Evil, pure evil!!!!!!!!!1
I am an antichrist?
Whoa.
Propoganda 101: Don't make the enemy sound like the good guy!
Seriously, Mrs. Jones sounds fucking awesome.
Mrs. Jones may be a kind, decent human being whom one could rely on for help or support if need be. She feels she has no reason to lie to people about what she thinks, no concern for what other people should happen to think of her, and politely shares her views only with people who ask. Her faith, or lack thereof, is no one's business save hers, and Her destination in the afterlife--assuming one exists--is her own affair.
I believe I would prefer her company to a loudmouthed, obnoxious street-preacher who spies on his neighbors, steers any and all conversations into a heavy-handed conversion pitch, and parades his ignorance of the world, history, science, and reality in general like a badge of honor. Like the guy who lived next to my aunt a while back.
LOLOLOLOLOL!
What Jimmy didn't know was that Mrs. Jones was sick. Not a sickness of the body, like cholera or smallpox, but a much more sinister ailment: a sickness... of the mind . For you see, Mrs. Jones was... an atheist.
www.dramabutton.com
/parody of "Boys Beware"
I personally have not encountered any atheist that tried to bribe people with cookies (or any other goods/money) to stray from church. As a matter of fact, atheists hardly talk about Religion as it is not part of their life!
"Meet Mrs. Jones...
Mrs. Jones is a sweet elderly lady, now confined to a wheel chair. You would be glad to have her as your next door neighbour. In the above picture, Mrs. Jones, is seen having just convinced the unsuspecting nurse that Jesus Christ was a myth. But Mrs. Jones is at her best when she gives out her home baked treats to the neighbourhood children, as she teaches them that Jesus Christ never lived. You see, Mrs. Jones is an atheist! She is also one of millions of antichrists living in the world today."
Meet Mrs. Failin:
image
Mrs. Failin may look like the 'mom next door' to you, now confined to the political wilderness. You would be glad to have her as your next door neighbour - but not if you're not a teabagger. In the above picture*, Mrs. Failin is seen having convinced so many like her that the fact we emerged out of the primordial soup is a myth. But Mrs. Failin is at her best when she gives out her homegrown beliefs to the neighbourhood voters, as she teaches that those politically opposed to her should be shot:
image
You see, Mrs Failin is a Religious Right fundie! She is also one of millions of Antichrists (along with the uber-Antichrist, Maggie Thatcher *spit * polluting the world today.
*- In said picture is a large, slimy, ugly lifeform that spawns young uglier than her, was lucky to have emerged from the oceans, and deserves to die.
The other is a fish.
>:D
*ahem*
On behalf of all of us up here in heaven, I wish it to be known that Mrs Jones is a fine example of humanity that all of you should aspire towards following.
She might not believe that I exist. Well, that's OK, I love her anyway. And when she eventually dies, I will welcome her up here personally. I'm certainly not going to condemn her to the other place simply for using the brain I gave her.
Because you see, in the end, athiest or not... Mrs Jones is a much better Christian than you ever were, bible.ca.
@Misterboston
Actually, that is precisely what antichrist means - at least, originally. The modern meaning (a mythical person who mirrors Jesus, only evil, and will descend upon humanity before the end of the world) is not biblical at all. This is a much, MUCH later interpretation that's not grounded in, well, anything. It's even more made up than the rest of it...
In any case, it looks like the site uses the word in its original meaning.
I am dating myself with this comment. But...does anybody remember the movie: "the Debil and Mrs Jones"? I think it was a porno flick. But evidently, the debil and Mrs Jones (evidently now in a wheelchair) must have gotten it on in the movie. (I didnt see it. Really, I didnt.) So I guess that makes her an antichrist.
Looking at that website, I can't help but call Poe's Law. There's just a certain insincere quality to it.
I mean, clearly they like having Mrs. Jones around, right? Despite suggesting she's a monster of hellish proportions for expressing her beliefs, she's a wheelchair-bound old lady with a nice personality, a great neighbor to have, and she'll bake treats for your kids too.
It reads like a stealth ad for atheism, much like the way tobacco PSAs are really just stealth ads for cigarrettes.
I hope that's what it is. I mean, it's not like Mrs. Jones is able to secretly murder children and use them for shortening that gets fed to other children - she's old, frail, and stuck in a wheelchair. So it's gotta be Poe's Law - people just can't have such a twisted sense of logic, can they?
*rushes in*
Hey guys! Mrs. Jones made a new batch of triple-chocolate cookies, AND Devil's Food cupcakes! And they're AWESOME!
/end hyper little kid mode
Yes, that's what you imagine happening, isn't it, you muppet?
Oh, pshaw. We aren't Antichrists, we're perfectly normal people. In fact, you can hardly even tell us apart from the general population. PROTIP: this is how you tell. Those cookies you mentioned?
image
Atheists love to eat babies.
image
Our barbecues are fun!
image image
We're ordinary, well-adjusted people who just happen to not believe in God and crave the supple flesh of the innocent. See? There's nothing to be afraid of!
Slightly off-topic, how come these people always have such poorly designed websites? it really doesn't lend a lot of credibility to their crazy rantings. Not that I'm saying I'd take them any more seriously if they made a pretty page, but come on .
@Randomwolf42 Dammit , man! What the FUCK is wrong with your priorities!?
These people have stumbled across the MOTHERFUCKING ANTICHRIST/secret Jewish cocodile cabal/S-P-A-C-E B-L-I-M-P-S/September 11th cover-up!! You think that making the exposé PRETTIER is their main goal?!
These people are fighting for their lives!! They just uncovered secrets that WARS have been declared over, physical and supernatural! People want them DEAD AND SILENCED!1!! Yet YOU are hung up on the aesthetic of the WEB SITE!?
You fucking disgust me! Eat shit and DIE.not really. These people are just too fucking stupid to construct a website.
So what? Even if I lived to be a sweet elderly lady, I wouldn't even bother to teach children that myths aren't real, as they would know that already. I probably wouldn't be giving out treats to neighboring kids either, or my neighbors would suspect me of certain "preferences", if you catch my drift.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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