Hi Pfc. Did you know that all women everywhere are longing to be penetrated by Christian penis? I guess you did know that.
Here's some things you may not know. Cleopatra, the well known Queen Of The Nile, tiring of the multitude of expressions of love that Mark Anthony displayed toward her, instead, positively gagged for sex in the missionary position with a white, pot-bellied, Christian gentleman. Of course, the fact that Jesus had not yet been born is neither here nor there for the purposes of relating this well known fact. Cleopatra devised a cunning plan. She took her bed outside her royal tent and lay resplendently naked on top of the sheets, furiously gagging for it. To increase the temptation to white, Christian males, she adorned the sheets and pillows around her with sammiches. That did the trick. In the blink of eye, she was surrounded by Christian missionaries.
Take another well known heathen beauty. (No not literally Pfc, put her down man, and pay attention). Helen. Yes, that Helen, wife of Menelaus, daughter of a god, slattern-in -chief of Troy, that one. The only woman of whom it could be said that the whole of Paris went to the hole of Helen.
Anyway, Helen wanted some Christian meat. Not being prepared to wait for a Christ to be born she implored her heavenly father, Zeus, who was no stranger to the amorous arts himself, for assistance. Father, she said, you're good at seduction, you can do swans and such-like. Can you do a cock? A Christian one in particular? So Zeus appeared on earth as a Christian cock. Known as Christopher Cock (Christus Phalus) to the Trojans, who were unaware that he was really Zeus. Much fun and hilarity ensued.
Anyway Pfc, hope these facts are of use to you and give my regards to Grace. Gotta go.
All the best, Pule.