The vast majority of mankind will never find the Lord. Indeed, the majority of mankind will be lost for eternity. This doctrine may be difficult to accept, yet true nonetheless! But where, oh where, I ask, is the warning? I look to our pulpits, but they utter not a word of this place. Why do the vast majority of "pastors" refuse to preach hell fire?
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of souls are going to burn in hell for ever and ever and ever. Is this not important enough to deserve our utmost attention? Why does Joel Osteen, poster boy for Colgate, refuse to preach hell fire?
My friends, Brothers and Sisters, allow me to speak plainly...
We need to cast out these cotton-candy preachers!
We need to finish with them!
54 comments
You sound like a real fun person, there, Brent.
Not a follower of Origen, obviously. Origen, one of the earliest church fathers taught that everyone , even Satan, would eventually be redeemed. Of course, the church later declared this position to be a heresy.
Go for it Bent®!
Why do the vast majority of "pastors" refuse to preach hell fire?
I haven't seen condemnation like this since Jonathan Edwards.image
No, not that one.
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No, not him either.
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YEAH! THAT GUY! Oh, what a crazy nut he was.
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of souls are going to burn in hell for ever and ever and ever. Is this not important enough to deserve our utmost attention? Why does Joel Osteen, poster boy for Colgate, refuse to preach hell fire?
I admit to being confused...is he saying that the kid from 'The Sixth Sense' doesn't brush his teeth after eating cotton-candy?
When I was an undergrad, those sorts of preachers used to show up on campus from time to time. They ranted like lunatics, and spewed hatred at everyone who passed them. People stopped to listen, but most of the ones I talked to were there to make fun of them, and I never saw them convert anybody. So, maybe the "cotton candy" preachers realize that kind of crap doesn't work? It certainly didn't make me want to do anything, except maybe throw things to shut them up.
Honestly, how is this guy able at all to hold the laugh and not burst when saying this?. If I were God, I would be very disappointed if I had to cast all the humankind I created to Hell. It would be a signal of failure, not just theirs, mine too. Any person who follows a religion wants to have a relief or a support in our lives. If Hell is overpopulated, it ceases to be a state, a chastisment. It means nothing. That´s why all those preachers refuse to do what you want. They think that faith is more, that it means to bring meaning into people´s life. Well, you can be a troll as well............
We need to cast out these cotton-candy preachers!
"Fundier Than Thou" Award nomination seconded! This Brent character is quite a hateful, angry person, isn't he?Adrian: I don't actually see Jesus in that drawing, so I'm going to guess that he's in one of the privies; they're right by that cotton candy that Brent seems to despise so much.
~David D.G.
"Hey guys, lets go to schools and tell little children they'll be tortured forever and ever unless they worship something that can't be heard, felt, or seen!"
Actually Brent, if you want to get "fundamental" about it, the bible says only 144,000 will go to heaven, out of the 9 billion on planet Earth. But I am guessing your preacher never talks about that, now does he? Sounds like a real candy ass to me.
This is Joel Osteen:image
Notice the teeth? Hard not to. This is why B-boy calls him "poster boy for Colgate."
This is Joel with his wife:
image
I have serious doubts Joel would be married to this Barbie-doll if he spent day after day preaching hatred and condemnation. Perhaps that's why he's a cotton-candy-ass preacher.
And this is (get) Bent:
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Note the lack of a smile. Note the lack of a girl. These are the real reasons Brat is so jealous. He gave himself up to the Dark Side of the Christ, and all he ended up with was a wimpy goatee and a vacant, glazed expression.
The reason B®ent believes that "hundreds of millions of souls are going to burn for ever and ever and ever" is because B®ent is five-point Calvinist.
Ye gods.... I guess I'd be angry too, if Someone's idea of a practical joke was to add a dash of sheep genes to my DNA, but I'd direct that anger toward the prankster, not play toady to Him and hate the world.David D.G. : as far as I can tell, Jesus is nowhere to be found, just like in reality.
(Just thinking... if I wanted to be a royal shit, I'd post B®ent's picture on some hugely public forum, then start a pool with the question, "Does B®rent have blond pubic hair?!)image
If you look at his other posts, Brent also believes in the US govt. setting up massive re-education camps to train Americans in the 'respect for God and country' ideals he has for us all. He also believes in mandatory gun ownership for all males and banning women in the workplace. Somehow he also thinks this can be done democratically, tho he never quite answers the question of what he would do if the voters rejected his vision. He also professes great admiration for Francisco Franco, and, oddly, is not even American, but Swiss.
"Oh, yeah, millions upon millions will burn in hell forever."
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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