choosebaseoftwo #sexist reddit.com

Fuck. I want to die. I hate living in this damn world and my life especially. I hate being alive.
Today I kept having obsessive thoughts remembering this girl I used to have a huge crush on in my first year of university. Huge crush. Id gotten to know her over the period of that year too and I thought she might have liked me. Fuck. If only I knew then what I know now. I asked her out, we went for coffee often so I said if she wanted to go to the movies and get dinner as a date, she told me that she wasnt really interested in any guys at the time. Not long after that day, she then started to tell me that she found my friend really attractive and told me that she had sex with him the day she met him at this club meeting.

My friend wasn't one of those models that we post here on this sub but a generally good looking brown haired kinda tall white guy. This girl was a mixed race girl - half Lebanese and half English and she looked brown. I keep thinking of this I still talk to her very occasionally and i saw her Facebook pics she uploaded today and she's dating another white guy that looked like that friend of mine.

I wish I was never born. I fucking absolutely hate being a brown guy that's average looking and 5'10. I have nothing special about me. Im 23 years old now, this all happened when I was 18. That guy and the girl probably lost their virginities when we are in 10th grade or something. I still haven't held a girl's hand before. There is not a single woman in England right now that fantasizes about brown guys, every woman on earth likes white guys. Every woman. Tall good looking dark haired white guys. Every single girl I got to know didnt like me back. No woman has ever sexually desired me.
I cant stop thinking about this. For fuck's sake. I hate not being a good looking white guy.

Since I started puberty, I should've just avoided looking at girls and just never thinking a girl would like me. I wish I could go back in time and tried to never develop crushes on girls. I cant believe I was stupid enough to ask out so many girls that said they liked my personality. In high school, university, and most of life, looks are everything, everything. Personality is bullshit. Women lie so fucking much.

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