[Commenting on an article titled "What if Your Child is Gay?"]
You take him to an AIDS ward at a hospital or crisis center. Then you rent some gay porn and make him watch it with you while you show your revulsion.
Then you explain he has bought the BS and you want to help him. He can accept that help or he is on his own. Forever.
Then you find a different church.
36 comments
My mom just told my brother she still loves and supports him like always, and to this day they still have a loving relationship, and some of her happiest times are when she goes to visit him and his partner.
So how's your method working out?
He or she (as I noticed you forgot the lesbians, Mr Lenhart) would not be on their own forever. They would suffer unduly for a time, then find themselves a loving partner, and true friends.
Do not kid yourself, Mr Lenhart, a parent's place in a person's life is secondary to that of the one they love. It's a staple of stories as old as stories themselves, Mr Lenhart.
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It really makes Ibuki mad when hacks like Norm-chan tell people that they should do harmful things to other people! Heck, he's advocating child abuse here, and Ibuki thinks that a charge for being an accomplice to the delinquency of a minor would also be thrown on the table for anyone that actually followed this advice!
Seriously, why do Freepers always jump to the most irrational and unpleasant solutions they can think of?
@Ibuki Mioda: because they themselves are irrational and unpleasant, they can only imagine using the strongest methods possible to 'correct' the 'deviants', ie, anyone who is different from them.
Corrupting a minor by showing him porn?
Isn't that, like, illegal?
What if your child is religious?
You take him to Ground Zero and explain to him how thousands were slaughtered there by religious extremists. Have him read each and every name while explaining that they had mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and children that loved them and will never see them again because a group of religious fanatics wanted to "kill all the infidels". Then read the OT to him and explain how god slaughtered millions during the global flood (including men, women, including pregnant women, children, infants, and animals), and killed thousands of Midianites and Amalekites (including men, women, including pregnant women, children, infants and animals). Remind him god did this while saying "thou shalt not kill". Then you watch some Kent Hovind, Ray Comfort, and Ken Ham and make him watch it with you while showing your revulsion and refuting each point with science.
Then you explain he has bought the BS and you want to help him. He can accept that help or he is on his own. Forever.
Then you ensure he gets a proper secular scientific education.
If a child came to me when I was still teaching, explaining his or her parent did this insane crap, the first thing I'd do is call CPS and then the cops. And then I would have borrowed a baseball bat from the gym coach.
Wrong. You love, support, and accept them as they are.
You do not visit AIDS wards (well, unless you are trying to help), you do not rent gay porn, and you especially do not issue ultimatums implying that you will disown them. Because that is child abuse.
We should not have to tell you this. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
(You definitely need to find a new church.)
Then you rent some gay porn and make him watch it with you while you show your revulsion.
Psst... hey Norm. You can come out of the closet. It's okay. We know. You're not really fooling anybody with the straight guy act.
We both know that by "show your revulsion" you're talking about "spanking it."
Yeah, Norm. This will really work.
"Daddy, how is watching a DVD of pretty women making love going to make me no longer a lesbian?"
"I want you to see how repulsed I am, Debbie. *fapfapfap*"
Oh wait, the OP is talking about boys and probably thinks the Lavender Menace only exists just to be a fetish for him.
In 2014, society can't accept sexuality is a spectrum? Really? *sigh* Really.
I'm with Sangfroid on this one.
I have no kids, and as I'm 44, it doesn't seem like I'm ever going to get any, but I think that the only thing I would be sad about would be the future reception my kid would get, from people like you, asshole. I have a friend and old colleague, who I like very much. When I became his friend on Facebook, years and years after we stopped being colleagues, and read that he was interested in men, my only reaction was "oh, that explains a lot".
I've only been to church for baptisms, funerals and weddings, for decades. If it wasn't for my feeling that the Swedish Church does much good, both in Sweden and in third world countries, I would renounce my membership, which was handed to me at birth, as we had a State Church back then.
What to do if your child is Heterosexual.
when he or she hits puberty take him/hr to a VD clinic.
Rent him/her some straight porn and laugh with them over the crazy antics, bad acting and poor sex.
Explain that as a christian parent you will need to stone them to death for the sins of masturbation and fornication.
Yes, watching gay porn with your kid will totally make him straight even if you make faces at it during the watching. I'm totally sure that won't leave him with some serious father issues and severe mental scarring. That's not to mention the abandonment issues from the threatening to kick him out of the house.
Then watch while your child understands that s/he can no longer come to you about anything confidential or with any personal problems whatsoever and spends the next few years living in abject terror of you, until s/he is finally in a position to move out and get far, far away from you.
Then you rent some gay porn and make him watch it with you while you show your revulsion.
Norm wishes he had a gay son so he'd have an excuse to watch gay porn.
Stop being a closet case and watch your gay porn already, you'll thank yourself for it later.
“You take him to an AIDS ward at a hospital or crisis center.”
“Then you rent some gay porn and make him watch it with you while you show your revulsion.”
“Then you explain he has bought the BS and you want to help him.”
“He can accept that help or he is on his own. Forever.”
“Then you find a different church.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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