You would think that all the trans hand-wringing over whether it's a fetish would clue them in that it's actually a fetish
Trans people love saying that if you think you might be trans, you probably are trans. A great over-inclusive definition designed to throw all GNC, NB, or questioning people under the trans umbrella without too much critical thinking involved.
By that same token, trans people often wonder if what they're doing is all just a fetish. If you browse trans subreddits and facebook groups, you'll see that most or perhaps even all trans people eventually explore the question of whether it's all a fetish. Cue the walls of text, trying to justify why cis women also get uncontrollably horny when someone refers to them as a woman. (Spoiler alert: we do not.) Or why the desire to be a woman often fades after orgasm. That sort of thing. They spend a lot of time trying to reason away these obviously fetishistic features of their trans identity.
A large portion of trans mental energy goes to justifying why it's not a fetish. You'd think that by the same logic "if you think you might be trans, you probably are trans" this would indicate that if you think this is a fetish it's probably a fetish.
I can't think of anything in my life where I had to wonder if it was a fetish or not. That fact alone should indicate that yeah, it is a fetish.