"1) The empty tomb
A hole in a rock? Really? Do you know how the "empty tomb" was found? Constantine's mother. Yeah, when the mother of a Roman Emperor tells you to find something, you pretty much better damn well find it."
No, silly; I don't mean the literal site in Jerusalem. We don't really know if that is Jesus' tomb or not. What I mean is... if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, where did his body go? Why didn't the Jews dig it out and present it as evidence to silence the Christians? Why didn't the Romans go and get it? I mean, seriously, where did that body go in your opinion?
"2) Fulfilled prophecy, down to the EXACT DETAIL of historical events
All my life I've been told of this fulfilled prophecy. Please give the details, as nobody else has ever been able to."
Oh you're kidding me, right? The Old Testament talks about TONS of battles and historical events that later came to pass. Atheists claim these were written after the events, but all historical findings point to the fact that these accounts were written before the events happened - sometimes centuries in advance. Check some of them out here; I think you'll dig this website:
"3) This is just bullshit that your pastor has taught you. You've never researched it. Sure a bunch of charlatans write books saying they've discovered such things, but when it turns out to be bullshit, they just whistle a little tune and you fundies dance like trained lap dogs"
Nope. I didn't get any of this information from my pastor; it's all from books I've read.
"3) Detailed medical evidence published in a peer review secular journal PROVING that Jesus died on the cross as reported in the gospels
Citation Given, Bitch: http://brainshavings.com/supplements/crucifixion/
"4) The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel
Same old shit"
Have you read it, jackass?
"5) Evidence that Demands a Verdict, by Josh McDowell
Great, so you dance out a bunch of Creationist authors. Should I dance out all the new age authors? Why should I believe a creationist over a new age author?"
Have you even read these books? Or are you just bashing them without even giving them a fair hearing? Not very scientific.
"A Roman Catholic priest that counted the people in the bible? That's the only evidence you have"
Nope. We've got TONS of fossils, geologic records, evidence from astronomy, etc. Check out AnswersinGenesis.org and read some of the articles. I think you'll find them interesting.
"You're listing authors that came along long after Jesus died. Some as much as 1000 years"
Bull fucking shit! Do you know ANYTHING about these authors? They all lived within 300 years of Christ's life, and most were alive within one generation after Christ.
"Yet in this time of cell phones with cameras, nobody offers to take a picture. Nobody goes back to their doctor who says "Damn, his leg grew back!"
Plenty. You can go on YouTube and see videos of services where spiritual gifts are exercised. Or you could just visit my church or another church of the Pentecostal/Charismatic persuasion and witness miraculous acitivty for yourself. If you'd like, I could even tape some of our meetings and try to post them online for you t ose. We had one where white feathers fell from the sky while we were praying, and another time a voice came from the basement below the church saying "Blessed in God's Holy name, are you saints of Detroit. Blessed in God's Holy name!" We felt the floor of the church shake when the voice was speaking, it was amazing. We all ran downstairs, and the basement was empty. Apostle Julie ran to a corner of the room to turn on a light, and suddenly we hear her shrieking. We run over, and she's jumping up and down in hysterics, pointing to a golden feather on the ground with the words "Blessed Be the Saints of Detroit" etched on it in cursive lettering. We have no idea where it came from, but it's actually made of solid gold. We had a jewler look at it and it's 24 karet. He said it's the purest and most beautiful gold he's ever seen. We have it in a case in the church narthex now.
"Why does every fundie demand that they were in the worst possible condition. No fundie ever had a dull and boring life before they found Jesus. Nope, not one. Instead, it's always the one upmanship, always with the lies, always with the trying to outdo each other."
Because I was, ok? I was living on the street and snorting crack, with nothing but a sleeping bag, a coat, and plastic garbage back with my shit in it. I was raped twice and attacked by a street gang on multiple ocassions. I almost died, ok? Before Apostle Davis came into my life, I was living day to day knowing I was going to die at any moment. Now I'm working as a secretary for a nice company, I've gotten off the drugs, and I'm living a clean, healthy life. I've reconnected with my kids and ex-husband, and we're going to get back together next year. All because of JESUS! Praise HIM!
"Oh, and if you really were a crack whore, you may want to check into what crack does to a persons brain. You don't function right afterwards, therefore your testimony is automatically suspect."
Yeah, I know man, I was living like shit, ok? I admit it. But Jesus forgave me and healed me and it's time to move on.