[Response to a letter written about little kids who steal food from the pantry and won't admit to the thievery]
Get a hidden camera that comes on when the beam is interrupted. They are used to photograph animals and can be purchased for less than $100.00. Install it secretly and wait for the lying thief to appear.
90 comments
Of course if you're not on a budget you can set up thermal imaging devices, motion activated sentry guns, and silent alarms connected to the nearest SWAT headquarters. Once you've caught them you can even shell out for a device that will deliver the beating for you.
So...you prefer the totalitarian style of parenting, now do you? Ever occur to you that stealing sweets isn't such a big deal that you need to go to such elaborate means to catch the culprits? Or that you need to punish the kids so grievously for it? You simply need to teach the kids that stealing and dishonesty is wrong, which can be done without legal contracts, surveillance cameras, and year-long punishments (which is not only excessive, but infinitely less successful than pronounced disapproval, an explanation, and a short-term, immediate punishment). The goal of a parent is to instill responsibility in your children, not paranoia.
What the hell? Okay, you share a brain with my grandmother. If you're worried about a kid eating too many sweets, put the candy up where they can't reach it, but put good food, like crackers and stuff down low. That way, when they're hungry, they'll eat that. Then you don't have to take your six year old to court.
Yes, because it's just great for a small child to grow up in a mini-police state. It'll better prepare them for adult police states.
Seriously, if you have a little child that does that, perhaps they're not fed enough at dinner. Offer them more at that time, and keep the sweets out of their reach so they don't spoil their meals or make themselves sick with too much.
Taking that whole "stoned to death" for every little transgression a TAD seriously, aren't we?
Sneaking treats isn't exactly stealing, It's just sneaking treats.
But then again I'm not a fundy out to destroy anybody's childhood.
Or you could just not buy snacks if you don't want your kids to spoil their dinner. You're just setting a trap. The way I got caught was, when asked, the Oreos all over my teeth gave me away. I was caught red-handed! Or, back-toothed, as it were.
So... we wouldn't want to not buy sweets, because, why?
Oh, and get them kids some exercise too, no doubt if they are "stealing" sweets, they look like all the other american kids around today!
Such honest, open loving parents the Pearl's are. And, they'll happily help you treat your children like slaves for the low, low price of...
Fuck, if my brother and I wanted candy my mom would let us rinse out the pop cans, put them boxes, walk to the recyclers to get our nickels, and then we could buy what we wanted with the money (root beer barrels and the like).
In other words:
-we didn't have candy and shit just laying around wherever at home
-if I wanted a reward like candy I had to work for it
-my parents never handed me a dang thing on a silver platter
-I am now an educated and productive member of society
Funny how that works, huh?
Hmmmm. Okay, if they were stealing money or alcohol from the cabinet, and lying about it, then maybe, maybe, such extreme measures. But for Candy? Ridiculous.
You can spend big bucks setting up spy hardware, but can't afford to feed your child/children enough that they don't feel the need to raid the cupboards for food?
Your priorities are really fucked up.
Why settle for that? Go for the works, man. A couple sentry robots with thermal scanning vision, armed with dual side-mounted rocket launchers and a centrally mounted heavy machine gun should do the trick. Just in case, wire them with a wireless communication device so they can communicate with your security camera system. You do have a security camera system, don't you?
One year? Aside from being a massive overreaction, there's no way you could ever get that to stick. What's keeping the kid from getting some at school?
Also, treat your kids like criminals, and they'll become criminals.
Its... Candy... I mean. Its not like its a diamond ring...
Oh wait! Absolute morality at its finest!
Instead... Don't keep candy and encourage your children to snack on healthy food. Keep candy as a treat for good behaviour by providing them the funding for going out and getting candy.
That way your kids won't be tubs of lard. Hell if you leave biscuits and chocolate around, I will bloody eat it till its all gone. And I am nearly 23!
Get a hidden camera [...]. Install it secretly and wait for the lying thief to appear.
First, get each one to sign a statement that they will not steal sweets.
If one of them steals, wait for a week to see if the others will as well.
Them come down on them with a charge of theft and be prepared to show your evidence.
Three good spankings will be in order, plus one year with no sweets.
A lock for the pantry door is much less expensive than spy hardware, keeps the kids out of the pantry, and is considerably less damaging to the psyches of the children than being treated like war criminals over a missing Mars Bar.
But that doesn't address your real agenda, does it?
Why don't you just give the children proper food and chuck out all the sweets.
Not feeding children will stunt their minds and bodies - but it's probably too late now in this case.
A case for the Child protection people?
Someone in America should report this person and all the postings he has made, for in my view it all adds up to child abuse.
"Three good spankings will be in order, plus one year with no sweets."
Have you tried explaining why stealing is wrong, talking the issue through with your child and getting a verbal agreement that it wouldn't happen again directly after the first incident? That works for my little ones and they're both autistic.
Verbally reinforcement at the second incident helps too. They're kids, they're going to do the same things over and over - you have to be patient, NOT a maniacal controlling monster. You do not have to instill fear in your children to help them learn.
...and try feeding them a bit more at meal times. Maybe the child is going through a growth spurt, which makes them hungrier than they'd normally be. Reward them with sweets after they eat the good food and don't let them go nuts on the junk.
This is all so simple and you don't have to turn yourself into the mutant lovechild of MacGuyver and Hitler to deal with it.
Jeez, mon. Cut the kids some slack.
Hey, stop picking on the man! He's just following the example of his god who put that tree in the Garden of Eden - i.e., put something tempting in the reach of those who lack the knowledge or maturity to resist it; then, when what you know will happen does happen, use it as an excuse to punish them excessively because ... hmmm, I'm not really sure why ... maybe just because Michael Pearl and bible god are both sadistic arseholes.
"Get a hidden camera that comes on when the beam is interrupted. They are used to photograph animals and can be purchased for less than $100.00. Install it secretly and wait for the lying thief to appear.
Great! That way, the kids will have all this experience to help them through their TV debut on Cops! [/sarcasm]
I get the feeling that the Pearls' idea of a perfectly run home includes guard towers, electronically locked cell bedroom doors for the kids, and an electric fence topped with razor-barbed wire.
Also, I find if a kid doesn't fear being beaten within an inch of his life, he's a lot more likely to be honest about his transgressions...but what do I know, eh?
Or you could just LOCK THE PANTRY jackass.
No, instead you'd rather just beat the tar out of a child.
Good job.
Day 1:
Day 30:
I would first ask myself why the kids stole food, before I started laying traps and attacking the kids.
If the child is eating constantly, then it's another problem, the diet needs to be checked and revised. And every child needs something meaningful to do during the day.
When I was little we never had candy just laying around. On Saturdays we went to the store and bought as much candy as we wanted with our allowance money. The candy was then eaten during that day. No candy any other day of the week (except for holidays and parties, but Saturday candy might be revoked on those occasions).
All this, for the Thoughtcrime of 'raiding the pantry', hmmmm? A Domestic Oceania, eh? Telescreens, Miniluv and Room 101 all in one house, Michael. Or should we call you Big Brother?
WAR IS PEACE
Four Letters, Mike: A.C.L.U.
Just do what my sister does-keep a "snack shelf" of healthy treats-fruit roll ups, breakfast bars, trail mix, etc. at kid's level and let them help themselves to that whenever they need a between meals snack. They know what they're allowed to have, and they don't load up on junk food.
Also, not beating your kids within an inch of your life over every minor infraction, and not running your home like a prison camp
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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