Radical right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire spent most of his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast yesterday threatening to sue the National Football League for broadcasting unsolicited “crotch shots” into his home during the Super Bowl halftime show, thereby jeopardizing his eternal salvation.

“I think we ought to sue,” he said. “Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate—was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

“I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom and present this as evidence of how whoever [put on the halftime show] is keeping me from getting into the kingdom of Heaven,” Daubenmire added. “Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’? Could the court say, ‘That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’? Yeah, well, you didn’t tell me I was gonna watch it! You just brought it into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were gonna be crotch shots!”

Daubenmire declared that the halftime performance was a blatant example of anti-Christian discrimination because he should be able to watch the Super Bowl without having to see things that conflict with his values.

“That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that,” he argued. “I wanna sue them for about $867 trillion.”

Daubenmire appears to be quite serious, as he posted a follow-up video on Facebook saying that he is looking for a lawyer who will file a class action lawsuit against Pepsi, the NFL, and his local cable company on his behalf.