WonderAndAwe #fundie

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LGBT Propagandist: "Hey Jimmy, I hear you like boys."

Jimmy: "Yeah, but I really wish I didn't. It feels wrong"

Propagandist: "That's just close-minded bigots infecting you. Being gay is a beautiful thing and super-duper normal! Here's a box of free Trojans. Go explore your sexuality!"

Jimmy: "No, I'd rather not and never. It feels wrong and I don't want to do something like that."

Propagandist: "Jimmy, don't deny your desires. And if you're worried about how you and another man can have sex-"

Jimmy: "No, shut up and go away. I don't want to be gay."

Propagandist: "Okay, you're still in the closet. I understand. Don't worry, we'll help you come out and be proud of your sexuality."

*this kind of thing goes on for several months until...*

Jimmy: "I give up, I guess I might as well embrace my homosexuality."

Propagandist: "That's the spirit! And from what I hear, hunky Jack Williams is single and also just came out of the closet. Why don't we set you two up?"

Despicable, ain't it?

38 comments

old comment by dionysus

What's despicable is that Jimmy, despite being naturally attracted to other boys, feels that he is doing something wrong by pursuing a relationship.

That's just close-minded bigots infecting you. Being gay is a beautiful thing and super-duper normal!

I think your strawman has a point. Homosexuality IS normal (super-duper normal is an oxymoron). It's seen in thousands of species. And the fact that only humans seem to find anything wrong with it (and only in some cultures) shows that it's nothing more than a social norm reinforced by bigotry.

Here's a box of free Trojans. Go explore your sexuality

As opposed to the wholesome Christians in the south who get taught abstinence only and then lead the rest of the nation in teen pregnancy?

old comment by Malingspann

Fundie Propagandist: "Hey Jimmy, I hear you like saying gays will go to Hell."

Jimmy: "Yeah, but I really wish I didn't. It feels wrong"

Propagandist: "That's just close-minded atheist bigots brainwashing you. Being a fundie is a beautiful thing and super-duper normal! Here's a box of free Chick Tracts. Go explore your religion!"

Jimmy: "No, I'd rather not and never. It feels wrong and I don't want to do something like that."

Propagandist: "Jimmy, don't deny your beliefs. And if you're worried about how you and other men can bash homosex-"

Jimmy: "No, shut up and go away. I don't want to be a fundie."

Propagandist: "Okay, you're still lost. I understand. Don't worry, we'll help you convert and be proud of your religion."

*this kind of thing goes on for several months until...*

Jimmy: "I give up, I guess I might as well embrace my fundamentalism."

Propagandist: "That's the spirit! And from what I hear, Willis Jackam who lives down the street also just became a fundie. Why don't you two team up and go evangelizing?"

Despicable, ain't it?

old comment by FELIX LÆTVS

I'm a gay man who came out at 13 (realised I was so at 10). So here's how it actually went down:

(From 10 until 13 I kept the feelings to myself. I decided to come out in spite of the attitudes those around me espoused. Then I finally came out.)

Friends: I can't be friends with you anymore.

Mother: The Bible says it's a sin and that you'll go to hell.

Father: What did I do wrong?

School guidance counsellor: Is it a magazine or something that made you that way?

Peers: Just jerk off to straight porn and you'll become straight.

Class pet: Go to church and they'll help you.

Another counsellor: It poses severe risk to your health.

Psychologist: It's like there's two screens in your mind. One straight and one gay. What I'll do is teach you to switch the straight one back on and then slowly turn the gay one off.

Therapist: You'll have to be celibate.

After years of being depressed and feeling sick from the pressure to change and feeling that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't change, I thought fuck it.

My parents and some friends eventually came around and now I'm happy with who I am. The thing is, I was born this way. And it was either suicide or live my life as I am. Hell, your own Bible recommends the death penalty for homoeopathy acts. Take a few guesses why it's that rather than conversion therapy...

old comment by Passerby

Non-douchebag: Hey Jimmy, what's wrong? You look kind of down.

Jimmy: Oh hey... Just thinking about sexuality.

Non-douchebag: Woah, heavy subject there. Any thoughts in particular?

Jimmy: Well I like guys, but I'd rather like girls. It makes me feel wrong.

Non-douchebag: Well why's that? If you like guys naturally but have to force yourself to like girls it seems a little more like somebody else feels wrong about it instead of you.

Jimmy: I want to be loved.

Non-douchebage: Well duh, so does everybody. But if you feel like you could lose that love at a moment's notice because you're not exactly what somebody else wants you to be is that really love?

Jimmy: I don't care, I want to do what feels right.

Non-douchebage: Then why go against what you feel? If you're forcing yourself to like girls that will never feel right, if you try to convince yourself you hate guys that won't feel right either. Really Jim, who are you trying to please?

Jimmy: I don't know!

Non-douchebag: Jimmy, I got one piece of advice for you. If you find someone that you'd give your very soul to don't waste your time thinking about what somebody else might say. They'd be lucky fuckers to ever come close to that kind of certainty and you can tell me to piss off the minute you find them. Just don't ever go around thinking you can't feel the way you do because that's what is really unnatural. The only thing you should ever worry about if you love someone is if you think they don't return that love or you might hurt them.

Jimmy: What's that supposed to mean.

Non-douchebag: Hey, you figure out you. I'm going to be here if you need me. That good enough?

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38 comments

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