First off masturbation is the worst thing ever!!!!
Probably best thing ever to you!
If you can't find something besides pleasing yourself you have got some serious issues.
Of course relationships are important, but they should be prayed for not acquired by looks!
Yes, looks help, but you know what I should mean!
Some hot girls have terrible personalities because they don't have one. They've been made to be something they did not want to become by parental influences.
Look for a girl who knows what she wants in life and wants to spend more time at church than with you.
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Er, well, except for the fear of touching himself, most of the rest of this actually makes sense.
"First off masturbation is the worst thing ever!!!!"
Even worse than war, murder, pedophilia, infanticide, genocide, incest and reality TV? Fark Brownie, your priorities are seriously messed up.
"Some hot girls have terrible personalities because they don't have one."
And some girls that are only reasonably attractive are worth masturbating over! If you were a bit less repressed, you'd understand sex and relationships aren't about being "hot" or about being pure.
From later in that thread: "Masturbation is corrupting. When I did it, I became evil. I recommend those who are defiling themselves to stop with it, it is a mortal sin and God will not tolerate it."
Then why does masturbation help cut cancer risks? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
If she wants to spend more time in church than with him, she's likely to become a nun. And moreover, he will keep on masturbating, guess why.
No sex before marriage, no masturbation, sex for procreation only after marriage...
It's no wonder most of these fundies are praying for death.
Yes, looks help, but you know what I should mean!
The idea is that you know it too.
I have a hot intelligent girlfriend with hips for days but I still flail away at myself like my genitals were on fire on a daily basis to keep that endurance up.
By your standards, find a beast from the deep who only gets on her knees when she's praying? I'll pass, kthanx bai!
First off masturbation is the worst thing ever!!!!
And here we are worrying about global warming, world peace, poverty and disease. Silly people!
It isn't just a REALLY HOT girl, necessarily -- it could also be a girl you feel you might have a realistic shot at.
George Carlin once said that it can be more of a turn-on to jack off fantasizing about the girl next door than to jack off fantasizing about a hot naked supermodel, because you'll be thinking, "Hey, this could really happen!"
The worst thing ever? Make up your damn mind! I thought being gay was the worst thing ever! Anyway, they're both perfectly natural, and other animals do it too. There's a joke most of us probaly heard when we were about 13 or so:
So is this about men masturbating or women?
I suppose that men masturbating isn't the worst thing in the world, its women doing it that is the real problem!
Seriously there is nothing wrong with masturbation, it's just a way of having fun. Next thing you know we wont be able to anything that is fun, like playing sports. We might sin.
"Look for a girl who knows what she wants in life and wants to spend more time at church than with you."
I'd rather spend time in church than be with you. And that's saying a lot considering I'm an atheist.
Good luck praying for the right girl. You'd probably have better luck if you actually tried talking to them though.
Look for a girl who knows what she wants in life and wants to spend more time at church than with you
During which time you stay home and masturbate over jpegs of some hot girls you've downloaded off the net.
Interesting!
Just admit you want to marry your mom and be done with it.
A. A really really REALLY HOT Girl!
What about D. Puppies and flowers?
Damn, no wonder you're chokin' the chicken!
Well, the way some of those folks carry on at church, it may as well be group masturbation for Jeebis.
Just look for a girl who turns you on when you're all masturbating at church.
"Look for a girl who knows what she wants in life and wants to spend more time at church than with you."
I've seen this idea a few times now but who, besides a heterosexual priest, would find this a desirable trait?
I'd say terrorist acts, slavery, nuclear bombs, exploitation are all much worse than masturbation...
"you know what I should mean"?
You can't both have a terrible personality and not have a personality.
I looked for a guy who wants to spend more time with me than at church (he's probably never gone to a church of his own free will, unless it's so old a church is't more like a museum). We've been together 29 years, so far.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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